I didn't do it

For one thing, the recent incident in Russia was a meteor, NOT a death ray. Secondly, my targeting would be better.

That was definitely an Earth-shattering KABOOM, though.

You were given the choice

I've been reading Churchill's history of the Second World War recently.  Never thought it would be a guide for my life now.

"You were given the choice between war and dishonor. You chose dishonor and you will have war."

The election is done. Stupidity reigns. And we will have war.  Oh, probably not here. Stop applying for wiretaps, DHS. But the good times are over, for the foreseeable future. Do you know what you have sold your birthright for, liberals?

• War in the Middle East. Not the daily rocket launchings. I mean real war. With nuclear weapons. There will be places that will glow in the dark, and millions of people will die.
• Europe turns into the Balkans. Possibility of war 50-50. Their economy is now going to implode, and lots of angry, desperate people will form mobs, and then militias, and then factions.
• The United States will auger in to true Depression. Learn how to repurpose tin cans. Recycling is for the rich.
• Speaking of the rich, did you know we all are rolling in wealth? Yeah, because only the rich will have their taxes raised. And we WILL be taxed more. Ergo, we're all rich.
• Death Panels. Obamacare is now a reality. Don't get sick, don't need cancer treatments, don't need hip replacements. Cost too much, cause too much trouble, and you're going on the hospice care pathway England perfected (no food, no water, until the complaining stops for good).
• Demoralized Military. You think the Secret Service scandals were bad? Now all the good and honest members of the military are going to be sorely tempted to leave. And what remains will be a sad shadow of what we were.
• Demoralized Civil Service. Everyone knows now the Administration will let you choke on your own blood rather than inconvenience themselves with rescuing you (Bengazi). Nobody will take risks any more. We will not get intel, right when we most desperately need it (see War in the Middle East, above).

I'm not angry. I'm disgusted. It didn't have to be this way. And the worst thing is? This is still the best place on the planet to be. There's nowhere to run.

The Low-carb Zombie Apocalypse

Those of us espousing the low-carb lifestyle have great difficulties in preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse/Collapse of Civilization/General SHTF scenarios. We need protein and lots of it, storable for years if necessary. Plenty of Ramen noodle equivalents abound and cheaply, too. However, I've found some workable options that might help.

Storable Protein Options:
- Protein Powder -- used by bodybuilders and powerlifters, you mix it with water or other liquid. Stores well dry. Protein Powder
- Freeze-dried products: Mountain House is one example, and they have all kinds of protein available. Shown is the diced beef--no noodles or other carb filler. Chicken, and eggs with bacon also available. Mountain House #10 Freeze-Dried Foods
- Canned Meat: Don't forget the old standby tuna! Costco also sells reasonably priced chicken and sometimes beef in cans about the same size as the tuna option. Kirkland Signature Roast Beef 4 Cans

Grow Your Own: 
- Nut trees: I was surprised to learn that almond trees grow in my area of the Pacific Northwest. I use a lot of almond flour in my low-carb cooking these days, so I'm going to give it a try. These guys at One Green World have excellent options available, but they specialize in the West Coast. Contact a nursery local to your area and see what kind of nut trees might work for you.
 - Chickens: Haven't done this one myself yet (too many coyotes in the neighborhood) but I know people who do. Fresh eggs, and the potential of nice fresh chicken when the eggs give out! Urban Chicken resource.

If you can tolerate a small amount of carbohydrate in your diet, consider some of the low-glycemic fruits and vegetables like Jerusalem artichoke, cherries, and pears. Dehydrating can help with storage, at least as long as you have power or sunshine.

Silly Season starts again

Yes, I'm still alive. I've been busy with my writing life recently so no time for snarking. However, here in the soggy corner of the map we have been occupied with our stupid no-party primary vote.  See, we have to be different so you don't declare a party and then vote on that ticket. Oh no. EVERYBODY, including a few Martians, is on one ballot and the lucky top two get to battle it out in the general election. Regardless of party. I don't know who came up with this intellectual gem but I suspect the same team from the mental institution that designed our freeway on/off ramps. More lithium is clearly indicated.

So how did I wade through the teeming hordes of eager candidates? After regretfully discarding the Martians (we had a candidate last year who campaigned under the moniker GoodSpaceGuy. Yes really.) and checking the wild-eyed liberals just for the amusement value, I could do things like check the candidate statement for appropriateness to the office. A candidate for the school board, for example, should be able to construct a grammatical English sentence without spelling errors. Spelling errors even MS Word would have caught. I mean, really? Also, candidates that choose to inform voters that homeopathic medicine is the cure for all evils should maybe not be running for Water District Commissioner. A firm grasp of, say, water usage, reservoir management, water-borne pathogens and other pedestrian skills are called for instead.

I've never felt such a strong urge to find some railway tracks to lie down on--fortunately the rail lines near me are defunct. Because of the economy.

I'll just start drinking now, okay?

Nobody got what they wanted

I was one of those hoping that the Supreme Court would gut the (allegedly)Affordable Healthcare Act. That didn't happen. Recall, though, that even getting a Supreme Court challenge to Obamacare was regarded as a long shot. The long-term cure for that disaster always had to be Congress.  However, I don't think the decision is the unmitigated disaster for conservatives that some think. And I'm not alone.

For one thing, the cancerous growth of the Commerce Clause was stomped on in such unambiguous language even a non-lawyer like me can understand it. For added effect, the Necessary and Proper Clause was also included in the category of Things That Have Limits. Given that Congress has taken the attitude that either or both of these gave them permission to regulate us to death, this is a good thing.

Furthermore, the wording of the decision was that IF ACA was constitutional, the ONLY WAY was if the mandate was a tax. I remember vividly the contortions the Democrats went through to argue that whatever it was, it couldn't be a tax.  And if the bill that created the ACA originated in the Senate, and it is a tax, there will be another Supreme Court case coming up very soon to argue the entire thing--not just the mandate--is unconstitutional since tax bills must originate in the House. (Also clearly stated in the Constitution.)

The decision took a lot of people by surprise.  The full analysis needs to wait for emotions to die down, and I suspect there are some busy conservative politicians wargaming a number of scenarios to take Obamacare down. This could be much like the "miss" of the dive-bomber at Midway that damaged the Japanese flagship carrier's rudder so badly it could only turn in a circle...waiting to get bombed again. Damage was done. By itself it won't be enough, but it will help.

Death Ray warming up ...

Do you ever get the feeling politicians aren't listening to you?  I'm wondering if this disregard has increased due to the blatant powermongering and overreach seen in the Executive Branch of late, which ignores rules that inconvenience the Divine Right of Obama to do whatever he wants.  My readers (all five of you, and I love you equally) may remember the Great Electoral Sign Stealing Debacle of last November.  The annexation of the area I live in was defeated.  But that was November, and who cares what the citizens want?  The city is trying to annex us AGAIN.  At the trifling cost of $35,000, not including premade signs for the pro-annexation astroturf group to put up the very next *morning* after the council decided to put the issue on the April ballot.  The pro-annexation people clearly knew this was coming.  The Forces of Good (that would be me and the rest of the anti-annexation People's Liberation Front) did not.

I've contacted the mayor.  I've contacted reporters.  I am FURIOUS.

Good Lowrd

Below, in its entirety, is an email message I just received from My Senator, Patty (D-Taliban-Daycare) Murray.

Dear Ms. Chase:

placeholder

I hope all is well in Snohomish.

What a scintillating intellect. Summon the meteors!

Hmm, I wonder what those black helicopters are doing ...

...over my house.

If I disappear, start a bail fund.  I checked my Sitemeter stats for fun today.  Guess who came to visit yesterday?  Someone from the originating site of senate.gov, that's who.  And not just any schlub, either.  According to the IP address, it was the US Senate Sergeant at Arms.  And what, pray tell, was the good Sergeant interested in?  Why, this post.  Now, some nit-picky people might allege that our Congressional Betters are a bit slow on the uptake.  First, the title of the post, "A Day in the Life of an Evil Conservative" is what's known as sarcasm.  Look it up, Congresscritters, and be informed.  Secondly, if you are going to hyperventilate about some of the words I chose to use that made you feel frightened, try and pick up on the alleged threat closer to the point of the post going up.  It hasn't been February 2008 for a long time now.

Since the Sergeant at Arms only looked at the page for a grand total of 3 seconds, (or his webcrawler did), maybe he figured it out.  And is now trying to explain to some dimwit in the Senate that yes, I AM allowed to do that.  For now, anyway...

Proof of the Coming Apocalypse

The tree that is blooming in October is my Bartlett pear. Proof of date provided by the voter's pamphlet. (Arguably another sign of doom.) Of course it didn't bloom this spring due to all the global warming, and I have no idea why it suddenly decided to make pears now.  Good luck finding any bees to help with the process.  Maybe it knows this is the last chance EVER.  Mommy.

It's been nice knowing y'all...