Silly Season starts again

Yes, I'm still alive. I've been busy with my writing life recently so no time for snarking. However, here in the soggy corner of the map we have been occupied with our stupid no-party primary vote.  See, we have to be different so you don't declare a party and then vote on that ticket. Oh no. EVERYBODY, including a few Martians, is on one ballot and the lucky top two get to battle it out in the general election. Regardless of party. I don't know who came up with this intellectual gem but I suspect the same team from the mental institution that designed our freeway on/off ramps. More lithium is clearly indicated.

So how did I wade through the teeming hordes of eager candidates? After regretfully discarding the Martians (we had a candidate last year who campaigned under the moniker GoodSpaceGuy. Yes really.) and checking the wild-eyed liberals just for the amusement value, I could do things like check the candidate statement for appropriateness to the office. A candidate for the school board, for example, should be able to construct a grammatical English sentence without spelling errors. Spelling errors even MS Word would have caught. I mean, really? Also, candidates that choose to inform voters that homeopathic medicine is the cure for all evils should maybe not be running for Water District Commissioner. A firm grasp of, say, water usage, reservoir management, water-borne pathogens and other pedestrian skills are called for instead.

I've never felt such a strong urge to find some railway tracks to lie down on--fortunately the rail lines near me are defunct. Because of the economy.

I'll just start drinking now, okay?