Sunday Funnies

-Schlock Mercenary Despite Schlock's efforts, the wedding was perfect.
-TwoLumps Texas spring.
-Girl Genius Tarvek has been HELPING.
-No Need For Bushido Suddenly, arrows!
-Delta Bravo Sierra Lucky is a trainer now.
-xkcd
-Amya Faye has some light reading for the train.
-Lackadaisy How to prove you are a desperate rum-runner.

Not Updated, fie!

- Banished
-Dresden Codak
-Commander Kitty
-My Ninja Family
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the December January February March ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-Argghhh-onauts is still low on pink pixels.

Good Lowrd

Below, in its entirety, is an email message I just received from My Senator, Patty (D-Taliban-Daycare) Murray.

Dear Ms. Chase:

placeholder

I hope all is well in Snohomish.

What a scintillating intellect. Summon the meteors!

Sunday Funnies

-Schlock Mercenary The Gavs want a planet guarded.
-TwoLumps Sneezing and weather.
-Girl Genius If Gil won't be Baron, he can be a Prince.
-No Need For Bushido Things don't look good for Ken...
-Delta Bravo Sierra More new clone tricks.
-xkcd
-Amya The kolyraut will be attended to.

Not Updated, fie!

- Banished
-Dresden Codak
-Commander Kitty
-My Ninja Family
-Lackadaisy No comic, but new art.
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the December January February March ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-Argghhh-onauts feels underdressed with less than five weapons.

I served in the 2% battalion, myself

You may have heard that we in the soggy corner of the map are having a spot of bother with snow and ice this week.  It's all very well for you folks used to that kind of weather to point and laugh--we aren't used to it, and more to the point the five union snowplow drivers aren't either.  The concept of "plowing a road so people can drive on it" was apparently introduced in an upper-level course they got a waiver for.

But have no fear!  Govenor Christine Gregoire (D-Voter Fraud) issued a Declaration of a State of Emergency, calling out the National Guard, even!

To help deliver milk.

I understand milk can spoil.  Those of us with room temperature and higher IQs recall that milk kept in a refrigerator spoils much less rapidly, and, oh yes, it was BELOW FREEZING all week.  Freezing milk might be a problem, but spoiling not so much.  Oh, they also mention the economic impact of losing all those milk deliveries.  What, pray tell, is the economic impact of hundreds of thousands of people unable to drive to the stores to pick up milk (which, unbought, will...spoil)?  What about the economic impact on people unable to drive to work and also unable to work from home?  They will now have less money with which to buy milk, whenever the roads clear up.  Probably in April.

I don't get it.  If a Governer were to, say, make sure the roads were driveable for everyone, the milk truckers would *also* be able to drive on them.  Strange, no?  Why all this concern just for milk deliveries?

I speculate the Dairy Farmer's Association of Washington State has some pretty compromising photos of a certain Governor ...

Sunday Funnies

-Schlock Mercenary Ennesby is still running around on a hand.
-TwoLumps A Fluffy nerf-herder.
-Girl Genius As he feared, Gil needed the Hat.
-No Need For Bushido Ken is getting his ass kicked. Cue Genchu!
-Delta Bravo Sierra Fantasizing about trigger cows.
-xkcd
-Amya Accel has noticed the kolyraut.
-Dresden Codak The war with the robots.
-Commander Kitty The dangers of being on the Friends list.
-My Ninja Family Several new strips!

Not Updated, fie!

- Banished
-Lackadaisy No comic, but new art.
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the December January February March ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-Argghhh-onauts thinks its easy being green.

Hmm, I wonder what those black helicopters are doing ...

...over my house.

If I disappear, start a bail fund.  I checked my Sitemeter stats for fun today.  Guess who came to visit yesterday?  Someone from the originating site of senate.gov, that's who.  And not just any schlub, either.  According to the IP address, it was the US Senate Sergeant at Arms.  And what, pray tell, was the good Sergeant interested in?  Why, this post.  Now, some nit-picky people might allege that our Congressional Betters are a bit slow on the uptake.  First, the title of the post, "A Day in the Life of an Evil Conservative" is what's known as sarcasm.  Look it up, Congresscritters, and be informed.  Secondly, if you are going to hyperventilate about some of the words I chose to use that made you feel frightened, try and pick up on the alleged threat closer to the point of the post going up.  It hasn't been February 2008 for a long time now.

Since the Sergeant at Arms only looked at the page for a grand total of 3 seconds, (or his webcrawler did), maybe he figured it out.  And is now trying to explain to some dimwit in the Senate that yes, I AM allowed to do that.  For now, anyway...

Latest Writing News

If you were weeping silently into your beverage of choice because you simply could not afford one of my ebooks, despair no longer!  Firehearted is now free on Amazon, until Jan. 11.  Tell your friends!

Also, I now have a newsletter signup thing on my writing website.  If you only want to know about Fantasy book news, you can do that.  Ditto SF.  Tell your friends about that, too.  I promise not to sell your email into bondage.

Sunday Funnies

-Schlock Mercenary Combat pay for brain surgery.
-TwoLumps Hummus should be banned.
-Girl Genius The castle needs time to recharge.
-No Need For Bushido Time to punch someone in the face.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Deployment leads to sighting of boobies.
-xkcd
-Amya Faye's friends will be rewarded...appropriately.
-Commander Kitty The dangers of being on the Friends list.

Not Updated, fie!

- Banished
-Dresden Codak
-Lackadaisy No comic, but new art.
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the December January February March ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts is learning how to say "sandstorm" in all human languages.

Snark Dim Sum

Dim Sum, I have been informed, translates as "little treasures" or some such.  I have a valid Literary License, so don't judge me!

-Signs of Real Hope: At a bookstore, prominently displayed for sale, a "NoBama" 2012 calendar.  In SEATTLE!  I swearz! If it can happen here...

-Signs of Continuing Idiocy: The initiative to assimilate my neighborhood into the Greater Co-Prosperity Sphere of the nearby town was defeated.  However, some dim bulbs think they want to try again THIS year, because obviously we didn't understand the issues.  (The only issue I need to understand is the neighboring town wants my money.)  I think it is time for some pitchforks to come out for cleaning.

-Signs of Spring: I have a primrose blooming in my yard.  Actually blooming, in January.  If I can get home during the 3 hours of daylight, I will photograph it as proof.  If this be Global Warming, bring me more!

-Signs of Apathy: Why are all the top Republican candidates various shades of vanilla-flavored styrofoam?  (I don't count RonPaul, only humans are eligible to be President).  I want more shin-kicking and less bloviating.  That applies to you too, Speaker Boehner.

Sunday Funnies

Happy New Year, Comix lovers!

-Schlock Mercenary The Gavs visit the Transmorgrifier.
-TwoLumps Get drunk early, avoid the rush!
-Girl Genius Agatha is not going to hide.
-No Need For Bushido Ken is getting pushed around.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Where is the Ausfart, anyway?
-xkcd
-Amya Faye's father appears at the checkpoint just in time.
-Commander Kitty Nin Wah needs an explanation NOW.

Not Updated, fie!

- Banished
-Dresden Codak
-Lackadaisy No comic, but new art.
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the December January February March ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts is looking to hire a Bladerunner.

Stormy Seas

I don't know if this is for the year we're leaving, or the year we're about to have.  Crank the sound, it's worth it.  From The Awsomer.

What I No Longer Have

Yesterday I had my gallbladder removed. It was not being a team player. It was done laproscopically, meaning I was in and out of the hospital in four hours.  The process was pretty comfortable, all things considered.  Now I just have to persuade my cats that they are *not helping* by jumping on my sore spots.  And yay for high-powered painkillers.

I tried all my powers of persuasion, but failed to bring my naughty gallbladder back home in a jar.

This is as close as they let you get, a felt imitation! UNFAIR.

Sunday Funnies

-Schlock Mercenary The General will help, after the wedding.
-TwoLumps Further adventures involving zeppelins and goggles.
-Girl Genius The Jaegermonsters are ready to fight.
-No Need For Bushido Ken still wants to kill Nataku.
-Delta Bravo Sierra War in Iraq over, no parade.
-xkcd
-Amya Faye doesn't like being treated like luggage.
-Commander KittyThat isn't the real Yeoman Nin Wah!
- Banished Rak's ship is in tow.
-Dresden Codak The Department of Instillment.

Not Updated, fie!

-Lackadaisy No comic, but new art.
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the December January February March ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts sez "no matter where you go, there's weather".

Yet another book!

I am very happy to report that my second book is now available.More details at my writing blog. There have been those who have expressed dismay at the speed of new releases -- never fear!  These are books I wrote some time ago.  I just released them close together to maximize marketing effect.  Next year I only plan to release three books (a SF trilogy) and maybe a few short stories.  The pesky day job interferes with my massive writing plans.

This book features a very useful snowtiger, ancient evil human-devouring creatures, and lots of carefully researched battles!

Sunday Funnies

-Schlock Mercenary The hazards of command.
-TwoLumps The positive points of artificial claws.
-Girl Genius The monster is in a committed relationship, thanks.
-No Need For Bushido Ken realizes he's in a boss battle.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Lucky is perma-deployed.
-xkcd
-Amya No long goodbyes.
-Commander KittyLittle Pink Kitten brings the cavalry.
- Banished Even half-strangled Rak can dish out the snark.

Not Updated, fie!

-Dresden Codak Dead computer has been resurrected, so new comic will appear soon!
-Lackadaisy No comic, but new art.
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the December January February March ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts wonders what the Pashtun for "this way up" is.

Sunday Funnies

-Schlock Mercenary Schlock has hacked Kevin's glasses.
-TwoLumps The adventures of BatCat.
-Girl Genius Agatha's house is on fire.
-No Need For Bushido What do you mean by "other army"?
-Delta Bravo Sierra There was no special forces weasel.
-xkcd
-Amya Fake passports are useful.
-Commander KittyFinish him, and make it squishy!
- Banished The bounty hunter has turned off Timbo.

Not Updated, fie!

-Dresden Codak Dead computer has been resurrected, so new comic will appear soon!
-Lackadaisy No comic, but new art.
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the December January February March ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts has sand in his teeth. Again.

And thanks again!

To all the noble readers who posted reviews on Amazon, *completely* unprompted by me!  Really, that warms the cockles of my cold, cinderlike heart ...  (yes, I have a heart.  I'm not saying it's original issue or anything, though.)  Reviews are crucial to reassuring the timid buyer.  I can say "this book won't give you cooties, please, just read the sample and see!" all I want, but everyone knows the author is biased.  So again, thanks!

Thank You!

If the Amazon servers are to be believed, I've already sold 11 copies of my book!  You guys are the best invisible friends a blogger could hope for...

Now, go out and tell all *your* invisible friends about the book!  Have loud conversations about it in public places!  Buttonhole strangers in elevators!  Woohooo!

Sunday Funnies

-Schlock Mercenary The Gav ambassador makes drunken confessions.
-TwoLumps Ninjas steal leftovers.
-Girl Genius The Jaegers are ready to rumble.
-No Need For Bushido Uso is dead, and Yori needs medical attention.
-Delta Bravo Sierra The dangers of asking the cute chick out.
-xkcd
-Amya Accel really wants to leave now.
-Commander Kitty After being thrown into a wall, Commander Kitty feels like a spacer!
- Banished Rak meets a bounty hunter.

Not Updated, fie!

-Dresden Codak Dead computer has been resurrected, so new comic will appear soon!
-Lackadaisy No comic, but new art.
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the December January February March ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts is nekulturny.

Confession

Yes, your Humble Snarkatron has been keeping secrets from you--but no longer!  It's time to come clean.

Secret #1: I'm a writer.
Secret #2: I just published my first book, a fantasy, and it's available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble as an ebook.
Secret #3: Read more at my writing website!

QuickSnarks

-Annexation: The Forces of Good (that would be the no-annexation folks) are currently ahead by over 400 votes compared to the morally-compromised sign-stealing pro-annexation people.  As I recall the area in question has around 10,000 people and over 7,000 have voted, which is pretty good turnout.  They don't certify the results for another week, alas, so I won't know if my freedom to keep an attack goat on my property has been preserved until then.  (gnaws nails)

-Penn State: Your Humble Snarkatron obtained her graduate degree from Penn State.  It appears the child molestation happened well after my departure from Happy Valley, and I never had much to do with the football program (except to craft some Rabelaisian curses, at gunnery-sergeant level, when I discovered my vehicle had been towed, at 11:30 pm, in order to clear the parking lot so the alumni could park their RVs in comfort for an upcoming game.)  I can say this--Penn State was hard core about keeping student athletes on their chosen academic track.  As a teaching assistant I (briefly) had a student athlete on my rolls, and I was required to give semi-quarterly letter grade evaluations of said student.  Fortunately the student switched classes because that would have been a major headache, given we didn't assign *letter* grades until the end of the semester.  However, I did notice that football was the graven image of Penn State's idolatry, and it isn't very surprising that concealment of a heinous crime took place if exposure would have threatened the program.  There's still more data coming out, and the main witness who supposedly witnessed an actual rape is changing his story in interesting ways.  I spent six years at Penn State, and while JoePa and I weren't best buds he didn't strike me as the kind of man who would cover up child rape for any reason.  Even football.  I guess we'll find out more as things progress--but I like Sarah Palin's idea involving rope and a tree for Sandusky.

-Lack of Posting Lately:  Yes, I have been lax.  However, I have a really good excuse.  Expect an announcement Thanksgiving Day--and if you can't wait that long, go here.