Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Global Warming, huh?

It's nearly March, folks. Why is it snowing? Firstly, Seattle doesn't get much snow at all, period, full stop. Secondly, it doesn't snow this late. The daffodils are coming up. The cherry trees have started blooming. At this rate we could be getting migrating polar bears.

And now I hear that one of Al Gore's three houses has a monthly electric bill that is roughly the same as my mortgage payment -- but it's all OK, because he has purchased indulgencescarbon credits that offset (somehow) all this wretched excess. Perhaps one day he will have a brain spurt and realize he doesn't have to buy so many credits if he doesn't use up so much energy. Polar bears are drowning, after all. Really, I read it in the news. Now, I have one house and don't have a private jet (or even a submarine), take the bus to work, spent extra money and effort to insulate my (little) house, even use compact fluorescent bulbs where I can and *I* am the bad guy??



Monday, February 19, 2007

Support your local robot

Having admired the autorantic moonbat robot on Chuck's site I shamelessly stole the code from the creator and plonked it on my own. Even if it is a lefty robot it still needs a home. I blame bad programming for its attitude. I really like the shifty eyeballs. Now we just need a version for cell phones, so we can use it to generate fake lefty comments when we infiltrate their organizations.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Stop the Presses!

Local Government Agency Does Something Right! Citizens in Shock!

"I was flabbergasted," said Snarkatron, a local curmudgeon. "I mean, the Department of Motor Vehicle Licensing is a byword everywhere for inefficiency and long hours in line. I was dreading renewing my license!"

It appears radical elements in the Government office were able to successfully deploy what is known as a "web page", enabling citizens with "computers" and "Internet access" to easily renew drivers' licenses without needing to find a licensing office or take time off from work. It is believed Democratic staffers are preparing a blistering critique of this misuse of government funds that could have been used instead for an exhibit of demi-hemi-semi-gendered performance art.

"It was just so ... beautiful," Snarkatron added. "And comfy. I renewed my license wearing my pajamas." She denied allegations that her pajamas had feet, noting "not that there's anything wrong with that."

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Well, if it's a weird meme ...

then I guess I will play. Having been tagged by Barb-lady and all. Lessee ...

1) I speak rudimentary Scottish Gaelic. Pretty much useless unless I find myself washed ashore in the Hebrides, but it's fun!

2) I have a pointy skull. Really, I saw the x-rays myself! (But they wouldn't let me keep them. Or my appendix, in a jar. Doctors do not share their toys well.)

3) The only food I am allergic to is lobster, quite strongly. But I'm not allergic to shrimp or crab, go figure.

4) My eyes change color. They can appear green, blue, grey, or a mixture of all three.

5) I know more of the saints' iconography than most of my Catholic friends. And I'm agnostic.

6) I know how to rebind paperback books as hardbacks.

There! And I'm not re-meming anybody. Because I'm weird!