You have been warned

Via the Ever Wonderful S. Weasel, may her fangs glisten and her fur floof

Some People Need Remedial Economics

Oh look. The Post Office is having money troubles (again). It's all very strange. They mention rising costs and dwindling amounts of mail. Only at the very end of the article is a glimmer of reality allowed to intrude. Strangely, when the Post Office raises rates fewer people send mail. I wonder if there is a connection?

They seem very indeterminate about what day of the week they would be eliminating from mail delivery, too. I'm sure that would have *no* effect on people who are expected to get their bills in on time. Or businesses. Or, dare I say it, even the Federal Government? All I hear from the Post Office is "our costs went up, give us more money". Something tells me there is another way, something along the lines of cleaning up their process and reducing costs. *Why* does it cost so much for them to operate? Maybe they should stick to bare bones operations and not offer framed stamps and teddy bears and festive bubblewrap? I can't think of the last time I went to the Post Office and there *wasn't* a line, so explain this to me.

Laugh while you can, puny mortals!

This is actually a FULLY FUNCTIONAL Death Ray! [Offer only available at closed test ranges under ideal conditions, not available in stores, past performance is not a guarantee of future earnings, please see a doctor if delusions of grandeur last longer than 6 hours]

I want to know what kind of laser it is and if they have to retune it every ten minutes. Those suckers are hard to ruggedize.

(via Ace of Spades)

Sunday Funnies

-The updates keep coming ...Lackadaisy Lawful Good aunts always try to spoil the fun.
-Dresden Codak has promised an update for over a week, but he is moving house.
-No Need For Bushido When your enemy is making a mistake, don't interrupt.
-My Ninja Family.
-Girl Genius Back to the regular insanity, now with Mecha Moles!
-TwoLumps
-Crowfeathers I love cool giant angels with four black wings.
-xkcd More derangement.
- Argghhh-onauts, where are yoooooooo?

Tomorrow Belongs to Me

I'm going to be paying for it, anyway. Literally, in the sense of taxes. Metaphorically, in terms of damage done to the country's institutions. Bad laws that will be easy to pass and very hard to remove. Astronomical bailout debt that nobody seems to be able to account for. Lo, the hammer of Fate descends towards my thumb. My only hope is the Democrat-controlled Congress, the brain trust that would die of thirst in a swimming pool, continues to break new ground in ineffectiveness.

It's a futile effort of Beau Geste-ian proportions, but I will attempt to ignore the festivities tomorrow. It won't be easy. My place of employment has decided it will provide a TV hookup in one of the conference rooms so everyone can watch the Apotheosis Inauguration, a *splendid* use of company resources. I will be wearing my industrial-sized earphones so nobody is tempted to ask me how excited I am. "Snarls at colleagues" does not look well on the review paperwork.

P.S. By the way, where's MY bailout?
P.P.S Yes I know about the song. That's rather my point. See you in the re-education camps!

Joe the Plumber: All According to Plan

And a hearty "bwahahahaha!" to the mainstream media, who still haven't figured it out. Let's get some preliminaries out of the way first.
-Joe is not a professional reporter
-Joe is making mistakes
-Joe is really just an average guy and if that's all Pajamas Media was looking for anybody could take the job.

However, this is all journalistic aikido on the part of Pajamas Media, who I suspect know exactly what they are doing.
-Joe has tremendous name recognition, thanks to the piranha-like behavior of the mainstream media. But that cuts both ways. The MSM can't help reporting on what he's doing in the Middle East. It's like catnip.
-in order for the hoi polloi to fully comprehend the depravity of Joe's off-the-cuff comments, the MSM are breaking omerta on a host of topics they had previously been able to ignore (and thus make the general public ignore.)

Joe got handed a lot of unwanted publicity through no fault of his own. It has prevented him from pursuing his chosen profession (yes he is a plumber and he can work as one legally without a license under a licensed plumber, but not when he's got fifteen camera crews following him around.) He, unlike Congress, has to pay bills and balance his checkbook or he gets in trouble. Why shouldn't he make use of what the MSM so generously gave him? And why shouldn't Pajamas Media use Joe to focus some mainstream media attention on them, the Israeli side of the conflict (for a change) and give the MSM a swift kick in the shins to boot?

Plus, Joe's "gaffes" about embedded reporters simply shows up what the MSM hasn't been reporting. They don't want people to know about Yon and Roggio and Totten and the rest. But now they do, because they simply couldn't resist swatting at good ole ignorant Joe. Who learned what he did ... from the MSM. Sweet.

A few awkward questions

- I hear a lot these days about the "starving people of Gaza" and how hopeless their lot is. How the growing population feels increasing despair. Somebody better send those recently RIFfed Planned Parenthood folks over to explain the whole "where babies come from" thing. That will help with the teeming hordes over time. Next, add up the costs of all those rockets and explosives and Acme Tunnel Building Kits and spiffy starched green headbands, and figure out how many meals that would buy even at Whole Foods. Every time I see one of the Hamas parades or police academy graduations or Child Martyrs Brigade thingys they all have brand new uniforms and headbands and fake bomb belts. That can't be cheap. And if somebody (cough*Iran*cough) is donating these items in kind, maybe the Palestinians should sell them on eBay for a bulk shipment of hummus. Just a thought. Otherwise suspicious, uncharitable people like me will think they are getting plenty of food and the only thing they are really complaining about is getting their asses deservedly kicked by Israel.

- Where is all this government bailout money coming from? Physically? Oh, I know I'll end up paying for it one way or another. After all, I've been promised (promised!) that only the rich will see their taxes go up. Either I will unilaterally be declared "rich" or that verbal promise isn't worth the paper it is written on. America has a lot of truly wealthy people, but a) they are smart enough to hide it from sticky government fingers and b) there aren't enough of them to pay for the bailout plan. The estimate from the Congressional Budget office is the deficit (downhill, in a hurricane) would be 1.2 TRILLION dollars. Some bright spirits on the liberal side want the whole stimulus circus to be 2 trillion *all by itself*. (via Ace of Spades) Do these people have any idea what those numbers mean? And it won't make any difference if we patiently explain that people who don't have a job can't pay extra taxes. They will just cheerfully point to the extra unemployment benefits the plan has. That someone, eventually, will have to PAY FOR. I bet they think if they tug on their shoelaces hard enough they will achieve orbit, too.

- Why, exactly, are mobs allowed to push the police around in England and in Germany? And we already know about the charmingly festive car-burnings in the banlieus of France, and now Norway, of all places, has looting and mob scenes. Why is this being allowed to occur? Why can't the respective law enforcement organizations apply the law equally, and not just to people who won't hit them? I have no problem with someone with a "Death to Muslims" sign getting arrested. I just want all the people with "Death to Jews" to be arrested TOO. If Mark Steyn can be accused of hate speech for accurately quoting an imam, the imam should be accused of hate speech as well.

- Oh look. Mr. Obama hasn't even been sworn in yet, and already his image is being burned, shot at, defaced, and generally treated with all the respect that Mr. Bush has been given over the years. He's getting threats, too. I thought everyone was going to love us when Bush was no longer president? Maybe it is the power of the United States, and the fact we don't cringe at the court of public opinion that is the real problem after all. Take notes, folks. It's going to be a bumpy ride, and our pilot thinks he knows everything. After all, he aced Flight Simulator!

oh god I need a drink ....

I hope you are happy, SugarButtons

He thinks he's so cute with his chick quiz. I would just like to point out this tagging nonsense took valuable time that *could* have been used for drawing more Argghhh-onauts comics. Just sayin' ...

1. Link to the person who tagged you. TUTTLE!
2. Post rules (in progress).
3. List 6 non-important tidbits about yourself.
4. Tag 6 random people.
5. Announce the joy that has just crashed into their lives by posting a comment on their blog.
6. Let victims know their lives have been made just a little more interesting, and make sure that they understand a certain Tuttleish individual is responsible (I added that part myself ...)

Considering the aforementioned Tuttle already tagged most of the people I know I'm going to ignore that part, because if you invoke recursive tagging on the Blogosphere it creates a collapsing spiral in the space-time continuum and you wouldn't want THAT, believe me.

Okay, six non-important pieces of trivia:
- I can recite poetry in Middle English. Big hit at parties.
- Tha Gaelig na Alba accam.
- I was born with a sort of backup appendix.
- I have never broken a bone (long may the trend continue!)
- I have a medical excuse not to eat beets (yay!)
- Invented a dandy mechanical velociraptor call and convinced BillT it would make a nice zipper pull

Sunday Funnies

-Whee! An update! Lackadaisy where a sweet, innocent, episodically psycho cousin is recruited to the rumrunning side of the Force ...
-Whee! Another update! Dresden Codak featuring Dungeons and Dragons with a philosophical bent.
-No Need For Bushido Don't ask silly questions like "how the hell could anyone lift a sword that big". This is the equivalent of wire-fu. Real-world physics is in the back row munching popcorn.
-My Ninja Family.
-Girl Genius Ah, I love a happy ending!
-TwoLumps and conflicting Joke Standards
-Crowfeathers The artist has been messing with her audience again. Nested dream sequences, how rude.
-xkcd More derangement.
-And of course Argghhh-onauts is dormant. Again. I swear, this guy would be late to his own funeral. Yeah, yeah, Mr. But-I'm-BUSY, tell it to the Marines!

Sunday Funnies

-No Need For Bushido does the Naipon equivalent of "Noife? That's not a noife -- THIS is a noife!"
-My Ninja Family. Still more sketches. I wish they'd put up the archive.
-Girl Genius the Cinderella tale is taking an ... ominous turn. Always have a death ray in case of emergency, I say.
-TwoLumps is back to a slightly medicated normal.
-Crowfeathers When an angel loses an arm it doesn't even slow them down.
-xkcd More derangement.
-Lackadaisy appears to be busy still, but always worth a visit
-Dresden Codak promises *something* by Jan. 9.
-Look what the cat dragged in! Argghhh-onauts with an artistic flashback and Guest Appearances! Ignore the snarkage; he's always like that when he doesn't get his full daily ration of fulsome praise and worshipful giggles about the 24" zipper and I was a trifle busy SHOVELING SNOW.

Now this is more like it

The first commercial spaceport. I'm still noticing a lack of jet packs and flying cars, both of which would have been very useful in Seattle during the recent glacial period. We really need to get working on the faster-than-light drives too. If we can't convince all the dogoodniks to try out the B Ark we built *just for them*, at least we would have an escape plan before they freeze the planet.