Saturday, September 24, 2005

Evil Overlord does Hollywood

I'm thinking of having it bronzed, actually. They have such a fetish about tanning it seems appropriate. Or maybe I should play with them first, like a cat with a mouse, until death is a merciful release (bwahaha!). I'd force them to create movies like these:

- plucky, idealistic pharmaceutical company is hounded and threatened by evil protesters because their cheap, 100% effective vaccine for malaria makes use of chicken eggs and is thus speciesist oppression. (NOTE: all researchers will be either old, socially maladjusted, or have poor fashion sense. Any applicants showing up in high heels and miniskirts under their labcoats will be reassigned as corpse understudies)
- this is just an idea at present, but the title would be "The Day the UN Came". Horror, of course.
- feisty old lady on hijacked plane is prevented from fighting back by PC fellow passengers who want to "engage in a dialogue" with the knife-wielding, Arabic-looking thug that just slit five people's throats because "that would be profiling". She hits everyone, including the hijacker, with her purse until they are very, very sorry.
- fat, balding, middle-aged man having a midlife crisis hits on stunningly attractive young women and gets laughed at hysterically, then punched.
- successive waves of pacifists, progressives, Europeans, and such bien pensants attempt to reason with the janjaweed of Sudan and get them to stop slaughtering innocent civilians, and get slaughtered in turn for their presumption. (Note to Props: try and get a bulk discount on fake blood)

Any other ideas?


Blogger John of Argghhh! said...

(holding bloody nose)


8:47 AM, September 25, 2005  
Anonymous BillT said...

Why don't we do the Sudanese scenario as a documentary? Use real peaceniks and give the janjaweed two cigarettes for every one that doesn't make it out of Dodge under his own steam.

And the money we didn't have to spend on fake blood can go into the beer kitty...

11:22 PM, September 25, 2005  

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