Wednesday, August 24, 2005

In which Snarkatron attempts to offend as many people as possible

You have been warned. If you offend easily, need to cut back on stress, or are already having a bad day, you might want to go and look at a kitten instead of reading this.

So, why am I feeling like a dyspeptic badger at the moment? A lot of little things adding up, and the final straw was seeing, as I trundled home from a long day's work, that a neighbor had hung up a spray-painted bedsheet bearing the words "We stand with you Cindy". I like my neighborhood. It was refreshingly low-key politically during the recent fraught election, and it felt like a refuge of sanity. Not that everyone agreed on things, but that we KEPT IT CIVIL. The rest of the world should try it some time, just for variety.

I wasn't planning on addressing the media circus surrounding the new anti-war darling, the mother of Casey Sheehan. My thoughts were not kind ones as I heard the amazingly crude, rude, offensive, and deranged comments from this individual. (As an aside, lady, killing for territory is not an invention of the Europeans. Humans have been doing it since they discovered the fatal transfer of momentum via rock, and Native Americans were doing it to each other when Columbus was still in diapers. Oh, and even the worst multicultis never accused the Evil White people of cannibalism, which did happen during the collapse of the Anasazi culture.) There, my first gratuitous insult! I'm going to hell anyway according to the fundamentalist religious types, so I may as well make it worth the trip.

So .... I listen to all the whining coming from the fruit-loops holding "vigil" in Crawford. I hear moaning about "her child taken away from her" and "why did he die" and the rest. What does this bozo think? She gets to demand meeting after meeting with the President of the United States -- who has more important things to do -- until her son comes back from the dead or Bush breaks down and confesses, sobbing, to setting the IED that blew him up? He knows damn well what the cost of war is. He meets with the families of the dead (including Mrs. Sheehan!) and sees the pain and loss in their faces. He meets with the wounded, broken soldiers that he ordered into harms way. What idiot MoveOn talking points would make more of an impression than that?

I think Cindy likes attention, but that's not the real reason she's out there whining. I have no data on whether or not she loved her son, so let's assume she did. However -- it's pretty clear she's been antiwar for a long time. She had 20 years to convince Casey that she was right, but he voluntarily enlisted anyway. Then she had 4 more years, as he served and saw that the military was, O Horror, actually used for fighting --- and he voluntarily RE-enlisted. Still more time for her to call, write, email, whatever to convince him what he was doing was just for OIIIIIILLLL --- and he volunteered to go out on a rescue mission that ended in his death.

It's not really about the President. He's just a proxy for Casey. She wants to win the argument with her son, and he's inconveniently and permanently beyond her reach.

Oh. Looks like there are still some un-offended people out there. Um, Mac users think training wheels are fashion accessories! Yes, you look fat in that dress! Meat is yummy! War IS the answer! Pave the Arctic! Unilateral Cowboys are Cool! The Sun is causing Global Warming!


(if you are still un-offended, leave a note in the comments and I will do my best to accommodate you.)


Blogger Barb said...

Hmmm - I appear to be offense proof. Sorry to dissapoint, maybe you could sling slurs at my kitty-cat?


12:33 PM, August 24, 2005  
Blogger Sgt. B. said...

I hunt animals. I kill them, eat their flesh, and wear their skins.

And I like it!

Goszilla wants to talk to you about applying for a position of Professor Emeritus of the College for Fed Up, and Irritable Predators and Unapologetic Fanged Critters.

(We'll even let you have Ward Churchill, a gross of bamboo skewers, and an empty room...)

(Oh, and Godzilla was wondering if you might set out some air marker panels around the house in question, so he can find it... Thanks.)

6:39 PM, August 25, 2005  
Blogger Snarkatron said...

I want to make sure Godzilla has improved his targeting accuracy before setting up any markers. Plus/minus one Tokyo diameter is NOT good enough. That house is less than a block from mind.

Re: Ward Churchill. Seeing as I have more Native ancestry than he does, I think scalping followed by a lemon-juice rinse would be appropriate.

1:58 PM, August 26, 2005  
Blogger DunnerMeister said...

Snarkster. I loved this posting. You put it in terms that I hadn't considered before and it makes such a statement when it's put like that: she's upset that she could never talk her son out of serving the country that he loved more than life itself therefore she must be a bad mom and now how can she rectify the situation. It's like an emotional stalemate.


12:37 AM, August 27, 2005  
Blogger John of Argghhh! said...

Hah! Where's a gratuitous insult to Graduate Students who think that populating my state with African Predators (rather than the campus of Syracuse U)?

Oh, that's right - you were one once and are covering for them, right?


Chickenhawk! Chickenhawk!

Oh, wait - you were supposed to be offending me, right?


Never mind.

Oh, and "noghy"

6:44 AM, August 27, 2005  
Blogger Becker said...

I'm offended. Your comments re: Mother Sheehan too wimpy. The woman, plain and simple, is a media whore. And anything less than that comment spray painted on a bed sheet is offensive.

9:01 AM, August 27, 2005  
Anonymous SangerM said...

So.... When do you get to the offensive part? Was there more?

How come I'M always the one who doesn't get it... Sheesh.

8:58 PM, August 27, 2005  
Blogger FbL said...

Wow. I never thought of that. I agree with dunnermeister. Great insight!

9:12 PM, August 27, 2005  
Blogger Snarkatron said...

SangerM -- the dress comment was for you. Really, fuscia is NOT your color. And white-and-green spectator pumps? erg.

I see I'm going to have to work on the gratuitous offensiveness. The moonbats make it look so EASY!

1:19 PM, August 29, 2005  
Blogger Barb said...

Feel free to practice on us - we love abuse.

9:53 PM, August 29, 2005  
Blogger Jamie said...

You forgot, "baby harp seal, the other white meat". "Spotted Owl, It's whats for dinner". Later, Jamie.

8:24 PM, August 30, 2005  

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