Monday, July 13, 2009

Meditations whilst waiting for the Apocalypse

There's only so many times you can read the owner's manual for the ACME Survive-O-Matic bunker before boredom sets in. Aside from peeking through the periscope to see if it is safe to go out yet, perhaps we should devote some time to thinking of how we could prevent a similar disaster from ever happening again. I'm talking about the current administration and all the associated fun and games.

-If Cabinet positions are subject to Congressional approval, then anybody wielding the equivalent power but without the formality of the title should *also* be subject to Congressional approval. No end-runs around confirmation hearings by calling someone a "czar."

-Either the requirements for the office of President cited in the Constitution are enforced in a verifiable way, or they should be removed. Proof of age and natural-born citizenship should be provided (perhaps to the Supreme Court?) before a candidate can be added to the ballot.

-All prospective presidential candidates are isolated in individual rooms and then handed the same identical set of questions. No advisors, no outside lines to call for help, no notes. The questions would be determined by a non-partisan panel, created new every election (both questions and panel). The results would be published as-is, with no edits. All spelling and grammatical errors right out for the world to see. There would be mandatory sections on Economics, basic math (with emphasis on the ability to balance a common or garden-variety checkbook), and Constitutional law, particularly the bits about who is allowed to do what to whom. Any candidate who then deviates from these answers will be stricken from the ballot for lying.

-All members of Congress will be required to swear (or affirm) before voting that they have read the entirety of the bill being voted on. Should evidence surface that they did *not* read the bill, they shall be prevented from voting on any other bill for a set time (perhaps one week for a first offence, one month for a second offense, and so on ..) and during this time, since they have nothing else to do, will be caged in a pit to be constructed on the Mall and non-fresh produce provided to ordinary citizens to throw at them. If requested, organic rotten vegetables will be made available.


Anonymous BillT said...

Periodically, seven random members of both Houses shall be sequestered and asked to read, then explain, five sequential paragraphs of a particular bill.

The answers will then be compared by a non-partisan panel selected from We, the People.

Failure to produce a reasonable interpretation of the passages will be taken to mean the subject has failed to read the bill. If two or more differing interpretations are offered by the remaining subjects, it shall also be taken to mean *all* the subjects have failed to read the bill.

This will either result both in laws written in plain, grammatical English and the continuous pummeling of the idiots by the intelligent


it will result in *no* laws being passed.

Then we apply the same criteria to all laws passed during the preceding 75 years.

A win-win situation, as far as We, the People, are concerned...

10:11 AM, July 14, 2009  
Blogger Barb said...

If only we could get you two installed in office to make these ideas happen! I particularly like the pit idea, and would happily donate to the fund for the organic rotten vegetation

9:57 PM, July 14, 2009  
Anonymous BillT said...

Nup. She'd blow the entire Defense Budget on a death ray.

10:04 AM, July 16, 2009  

Post a Comment

<< Home