Monday, June 19, 2006

Snarkatron goes to the movies

X-men: The Last Stand
rating: 1 Soggy Stale Donut

I was really looking forward to this movie. I had read X-Men comics in college, loved the first two movies and how they stayed true to the source. Wow. Guess they had enough of that nonsense. And while they were at it, why bother with things like character motivation, flaws and quirks (which give them that elusive quantity known as "depth" or, in other words, makes them "non-boring"), internal logic, and a plot. It was painful to watch, like a loved one with Alzheimer's.

The only things that worked for me were the bridge-moving, effects-wise, and Jean Grey. For the rest I experienced deep compassion and pity for the admittedly very competent actors forced to speak the atrocious dialog. Snarkatron does not wish to boast in an unseemly fashion, but she is quite confident she could do a better job upside down in a grimy bus station, with a raging head cold. That's how bad it was. They actually used the line"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Overdone, guys. Try thinking up something, you know, original? Something that doesn't date from the 17th century? And that hasn't been quoted a billion times since?

The sad thing is if they make another movie I'll probably watch it just for Wolverine (yum!) but I'll wait for the DVD and turn the sound off so my brain doesn't try to chew its way out of my ears. Bleah.

4 Comments:

Blogger Barb said...

There, There ... Sorry you had to suffer that alone - but I appreciate the sacrifice.

10:34 AM, June 19, 2006  
Blogger John of Argghhh! said...

Snerk! The Bridge Moving that you liked offended my sensibilities greatly!

Vive La Difference!

(or is that too overused, he asked anxiously?)

3:08 PM, June 19, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Am I the only Denizen that actually liked the movie, thought it didn't try to do too much, and touched on all the right philosophical questions that usually come up in X-men comics(get away from my collection BCR, the Wife gets kinda testy when people paw the books, the alarm system isn't up to BCR standards but Jess is serious about protecting those suckers)?

Seriously, I thought it was much better than the 1st one, and maybe better than the second.
ry

12:59 AM, June 20, 2006  
Blogger Kerri said...

We drug our happy selves off to see X-Men3, mainly for popcorn and eye candy in the form of Hugh Jackman. It wasn't completely bad; not like it stunk up the theater or anything. In fact and however, the $ 8.50 ticket price was almost worth just seeing the preview for Pirates II, which I plan to view on totally virgin film.....

6:36 PM, June 22, 2006  

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