Reality 101: A remedial course for trolls and moonbats
Students, you are here in this class because you have demonstrated a complete lack of understanding of the term "reality." To help you understand the difference between reality and hallucinogen-worthy fantasy, contemplate the following concepts:
Which of these is really torture?
a) an electric drill being applied to a human being
b) watching someone eat peanut butter
Which of these is really suppression of dissent?
a) being beaten, arrested and thrown in a jail where they really do torture people, just for criticizing the government
b) having someone disagree with you
Which of these is really a violation of privacy?
a) every purchase you make is analyzed as to time, place, and objects purchased so when you, for example, buy beer and the cheapest brand of condoms in the store at 11:30 pm on a Friday you get automatic coupons for home pregnancy tests and infant formula
b) the numbers you call get tossed in with everyone else's phone calls in a ginourmous database that even a Cray has to think about analyzing
Everybody got that? OK, this will be on the midterm, so take notes. The bookstore said the elementary logic books are back in stock, and I really recommend you take advantage of that. Oh, and for extra credit, explain how global warming on Earth is entirely due to human activity, but global warming on Jupiter isn't.
(has anyone seen my pet troll? He hasn't shown up for simply ages!)