Sunday, January 24, 2010

Sunday Funnies

-Schlock Mercenary Tagon diplomacy FAIL.
-TwoLumps There is no Junk Food Planet.
-Girl Genius Oh goody, another deranged ancient clank with a grudge.
-No Need For Bushido Big Hulking Farmer, though barechested, was wearing a red shirt. Neat trick.
-Delta Bravo Sierra. Newsmonkey pointing out awkward truth.
-Digger The monks have new tattoos.

Not Updated, fie!

-Dresden Codak
-My Ninja Family
-Gone with the Blastwave
- Author of Argghhh!onauts has managed to chew through restraints, escape. Wild claims of horked-up computer proffered as excuse for no comic.

Speaking of Comics...
Or, Snarkatron's thoughts on Avatar.

First thought. Ooo, lookit the pretty colors!
Second thought. Huh. I expected to get irritated by the lame eco-nutbar subplot, but it was fighting for attention with about five *other* irritating subplots so it was easy to ignore it.
Third thought. There was a plot?

Somewhere there is a computer game missing its entire graphic design department and some serious big iron computing, because that's what Avatar was -- a computer game. Only you don't get to play, so FAIL there. It certainly wasn't a movie, because movies have plots, and characters. Characters that you care about, one way or another. When I'm watching a major character die nobly, I shouldn't be thinking "did I eat the last JuJube, or is there one sticking to the box like they always do?"

There should also be a sign at the entrance to the theater warning anyone who a) flew any kind of aircraft in combat, b) read about aircraft in combat, c) saw Memphis Belle, d) has come in out of the rain 3 out of 4 times, that EXTREMELY SILLY combat tactics will be shown, undraped, on the screen. Otherwise these people will suffer seizures when they see the bad guys (that would be Corporate Humanity in the script) huddling all their helicopter-equivalents so close together they can scribble graffiti on each other's fuselage. Because nothing says "I love you" like blue-on-blue collisions before you even see the enemy. The Army Air Force had the whole stagger-spacing thing figured out in WWII, but I guess there was a purge of all military history before the events onscreen took place. Kinda the same way that fuse and seatbelt technology was lost in the Star Trek universe.

So, I'm not wishing I had the hours of my life back, but that was mostly due to the cool technology and pretty pictures. They could have left out the people, pink and blue, and it would have made Avatar ten times better. Big important movie? Maybe, if only because now the tech is available for movies with real plots and acting. The Moral Message for Mankind (Bush sucks!) won't last. Birth of a Nation was a popular cinematic blockbuster too when it came out, but the only people who watch it now for what it says go through a lot of sheets, IYKWIM.


Post a Comment

<< Home