Bribes have been administered

Stay tuned. I think you will like what your Evil Overlord is doing for your entertainment ... and if you don't, the moat always needs cleaning.

Meanwhile, I find this absolutely fascinating. See, theoretical physics (and astrophysics is, of necessity, largely theoretical) is primarily a cheap form of institutionalization for the mentally questionable. It keeps them quiet and happy and they never seem to notice the locks on the doors don't work with their keys. Gravitational theory is one of the biggies. If they come up with something that combines quantum AND relativity, they get extra points. (And irritate the ghostly presence of A. Einstein, who famously a) invented relativity and b) hated quantum). This would be like serving espresso and sugary snacks at a faculty seminar. Professors waving their arms! Shouting, gesticulating, and diagrams scribbled on walls! Frightened students hiding under the refreshment table!

Go on, read it. I promise there aren't any equations.