Justify your existence: Marketing people

So what do marketing types do and how do they know if they've done it? From observation they must get together and go through the archives and say "Hey! We're due for Chia Pets (tm)!" or something like that. There certainly is a recrudescence of the stupid things and there is no evidence the buying public wanted them. Then there were the Christmas Ornament beanheads that decided we needed strange lime-striped things that looked like Dr. Seuss rejects. Yep, that says "holidays" to me. At least the part where you were forced to thank Aunt Erma for the hideous chartreuse hand-mangled knit hat that even the dog refused to play with.

Speaking of colors, can we please stop the whole "stupid colors only for women" thing? I am not shaped like a man. Not even close. So, dear Clothing Manufacturers, when I have a choice between gack-inducing pastels (that would fit me) and nice deep colors (that won't) I DON'T BUY ANYTHING! I know we can make all sorts of dyes not found in nature, that doesn't mean you have to USE them all, you know. Let's make pink special order only, m'kay? Try some nice green. No, not the neon lime stuff, forest green. I know you can do it, there's plenty of it in the men's section.

Meanwhile, hordes of small children delight in shoes that have wonderful red sparkly lights lighting up in the soles when they are stomped. Of course they don't have them in adult sizes, because some marketing person decided big people don't want them. I wasn't asked -- how about you? And I'm not the only one who has noticed a vast lack of personal jet-packs out there. I suspect jet-pack research has been squashed. Not just due to marketing weenies, though. Can you imagine all the idiots now on the road -- only able to be stupid in 3 dimensions instead of just 2? Unconstrained by jersey barriers and painted lines? ( This won't be a problem when I am Evil Overlord since idiots will have their driving licenses revoked and only people I like will get jet packs. )

So -- justify your existence, Marketing People! Be prepared, among other things, to explain why you think bringing back the '70s styles was a good idea. Show your work.