Thursday, April 02, 2009

The Economy Viewed as a Coffee Shack

Round these parts you can't throw a Birkenstock sandal without hitting one of the multitudinous tiny little espresso stands. Most of them are smaller than a legal jail cell and have just enough room for one barista, a radio, and the sacred espresso machine. Not too long ago a variant developed--the, ah, *spicy* espresso stand. Featuring buxom young ladies not wearing a hell of a lot, and let me just say as one biologically and orientationally (if that wasn't a real word it is now) unexcited by such it was a bit of a shock when all I wanted was a mocha. Plus it was bitter cold out and I was concerned that she might a) get sick with the window open so much and b) hot coffee spills.

Anyway! (I do have a point. Be patient.)

Shortly after the sexy-barista-in-a-bikini theme took off, I noticed another trend. Some of the *other* espresso shacks started advertising that THEIR baristas kept their clothes on. Family-friendly. Focused on the beverage, not the floor show. I thought this was great. The invisible hand of capitalism, so to speak. Some people (Ace's morons, I am looking at YOU) like their baristas a few threads away from nude. They have that option. Others (like me) just want the damn coffee and not a lingerie model handing it to me. Also available. Tastes differ, and someone will cater to that taste if you give them money.

When the government takes over the economy, this doesn't happen. You get one choice. Nobody will like it. I'm thinking it would be hairy-chinned Code Pink rejects, who will charge you $10 for a cup of tepid prune juice. Caffeine is bad for you, you know.


Anonymous BillT said...

Huh. And here I'd always thought barista was just another term for lawya, and was pleased to see that someone had actually discovered a useful function for 'em...

3:27 AM, April 04, 2009  

Post a Comment

<< Home