Quicksnarks for Liberals

where "liberal", for the purpose of this post, is defined as anyone bouncing up and down with glee after the recent elections ...

• Please take careful notes on how your conservative colleagues are handling the disappointment. No sulking in bed for three days, no demands for Zoloft, no fevered vaporings about emigrating, no wild-eyed claims of massive electoral fraud. This is how grownups behave when things don't go their way. We would like you to give this a try the next time your side loses. (Oh, yes it will.)
• Can we, at long last, have you guys publicly admit a) elections work and b) the previous elections were legit? Otherwise you are kinda leaving yourselves wide open to a charge of being stupid in public. Your call.
• Let's be clear about what actually happened. You elected people who agree with you. You did NOT elect a new reality. Facts are facts even when you don't like them or they make you feel bad. A Democratic Congress is not going to make the terrorist threat go away or make the Europeans like us. Sorry.
  
• If you remember your Spiderman comics, you know that with power comes responsibility. Guess what? You can't snipe from the safety of the sidelines any more. We are all anxiously awaiting the unveiling of your detailed plan to Solve Everything--you know, the one you said the President didn't have? You get two years, tops. Please write clearly and legibly and show all your work for full credit.