Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Congress springs into action

So it seems there was this massacre of Armenians. Pretty much everyone agrees about this, except the Turks don't want to say it in public. Photo evidence. Congress has its collective panties in a wad and wants to pass a resolution with the words "genocide" and "Armenian" in close proximity to one another, right now. Why? Good question. This only happened back in the days of the Ottoman Empire, an entity that hasn't existed since 1922, so one might wonder what caused the delay.

Your humble Snarkatron, being possessed of a corrosively cynical nature, suspects that Congress waited until absolutely no one, not even the UN, would expect them to *do* anything about this massacre. Ninety-some-odd years is quite a safety margin, but you want to make sure even the infant survivors of said genocide/spontaneous die-in were too elderly to appear at a Congressional Hearing. Of course, stopping the massacre--that, or any other--is simply out of the question. Think of the environmental impact statements, the work-related injury claims, and the unpleasant little fact that if you save the massacre-ees, the massacre-ers are going to say very rude and nasty things about those doing the thwarting. Congress just wants to be loved. As long as it doesn't involve actual work, or sacrifice, or other consequences--for them.

Perhaps I am being unjust. It would be easy enough for them to prove me wrong. All they have to do is replace the word "Armenian" with something a little more current. Darfur is horrible this time of year, despite what Jimmy Carter thinks. If that isn't exotic enough, how about Burma? Might be able to save a few Buddhist monks that haven't been tortured to death yet; wouldn't that be a good thing? Then there is the hardy perennial, Tibet. I hear the Dalai Lama is visiting DC, a nice Congressional resolution would be a thoughtful take-home gift. At least pick an act of oppression where you don't have to communicate with the perpetrators with an Ouija board ...


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