Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Snark Level: Burble

It's nice to be only in a mildly snappish mood for a change. It could change at any time. I'm predicting early tomorrow, when I have some Mandatory Fun at work. It will probably involve audience participation, self-criticism, and if I'm really unlucky, trust-building exercises. Feh.

The weather conspires to save all the sunshine for weekdays (so I don't get to enjoy it). This being the Temperate Rainforest, however, we have a rain quota to keep up so the weekend will be soggy. Of course. This is the price we pay for having the right environment for the fearsome Giant Banana Slug, the largest, ugliest blob of self-propelled glop in the hemisphere. I hear it can eat small dogs. Fortunately I am a native of the Pacific Northwest, so I have the gills, webbed feet, and porous skin that make light of the rain. We tend to view that bright object in the sky with a trace of suspicion. It could be a UFO. Why take chances?

Current Event QuickSnarks:
  • CNN, Eason Jordan, and other Distinguished Media types
If you feel threatened by people asking what the truth is, maybe, just maybe, you picked the wrong profession. How about you find out what happened and I'll decide what I think about it.

  • Breeding Habits of Presumptive Constitutional Monarchs

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't we go to a lot of bother around the late 1700's precisely so we DON'T have to pay attention to this nonsense? As if the Hapsburgs weren't enough of a horrible example of why breeding humans in public is a Bad Idea.

  • What not to name submarines

Oh, the killer rabbit jokes. The Nerf torpedo jokes. (Let us hope no Three Mile Island jokes ...) I mean, Jimmy Carter? On the plus side, some military types have opined that the pressure to prove the jokes wrong will produce one of the best crews in the Navy.

  • Social Security, sez you

Private accounts. Great. Fine. I still get to pay for all you geezers out there, one way or another. Yes, you were promised. But don't kid yourself. What you get is taken from me, and I'm never going to get it back. Social Security won't be around when I get there. So please, let me at least save some money where the Gummit can't get it!


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