Snark Patrol

Good Lowrd

2012-01-26T15:17:00.000-08:00

Below, in its entirety, is an email message I just received from My Senator, Patty (D-Taliban-Daycare) Murray.

Dear Ms. Chase:

placeholder

I hope all is well in Snohomish.

What a scintillating intellect. Summon the meteors!

Sunday Funnies

2012-01-22T03:07:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary The Gavs want a planet guarded.
-TwoLumps Sneezing and weather.
-Girl Genius If Gil won't be Baron, he can be a Prince.
-No Need For Bushido Things don't look good for Ken...
-Delta Bravo Sierra More new clone tricks.
-xkcd
-Amya The kolyraut will be attended to.

Not Updated, fie!

- Banished
-Dresden Codak
-Commander Kitty
-My Ninja Family
-Lackadaisy No comic, but new art.
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ ~~March~~ ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-Argghhh-onauts feels underdressed with less than five weapons.

I served in the 2% battalion, myself

2012-01-20T12:35:00.000-08:00

You may have heard that we in the soggy corner of the map are having a spot of bother with snow and ice this week. It's all very well for you folks used to that kind of weather to point and laugh--we aren't used to it, and more to the point the five union snowplow drivers aren't either. The concept of "plowing a road so people can drive on it" was apparently introduced in an upper-level course they got a waiver for.

But have no fear! Govenor Christine Gregoire (D-Voter Fraud) issued a Declaration of a State of Emergency, calling out the National Guard, even!

To help deliver milk.

I understand milk can spoil. Those of us with room temperature and higher IQs recall that milk kept in a refrigerator spoils much less rapidly, and, oh yes, it was BELOW FREEZING all week. Freezing milk might be a problem, but spoiling not so much. Oh, they also mention the economic impact of losing all those milk deliveries. What, pray tell, is the economic impact of hundreds of thousands of people unable to drive to the stores to pick up milk (which, unbought, will...spoil)? What about the economic impact on people unable to drive to work and also unable to work from home? They will now have less money with which to buy milk, whenever the roads clear up. Probably in April.

I don't get it. If a Governer were to, say, make sure the roads were driveable for everyone, the milk truckers would *also* be able to drive on them. Strange, no? Why all this concern just for milk deliveries?

I speculate the Dairy Farmer's Association of Washington State has some pretty compromising photos of a certain Governor ...

Sunday Funnies

2012-01-15T04:38:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary Ennesby is still running around on a hand.
-TwoLumps A Fluffy nerf-herder.
-Girl Genius As he feared, Gil needed the Hat.
-No Need For Bushido Ken is getting his ass kicked. Cue Genchu!
-Delta Bravo Sierra Fantasizing about trigger cows.
-xkcd
-Amya Accel has noticed the kolyraut.
-Dresden Codak The war with the robots.
-Commander Kitty The dangers of being on the Friends list.
-My Ninja Family Several new strips!

Not Updated, fie!

- Banished
-Lackadaisy No comic, but new art.
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ ~~March~~ ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-Argghhh-onauts thinks its easy being green.

Hmm, I wonder what those black helicopters are doing ...

2012-01-12T10:19:00.000-08:00

...over my house.

If I disappear, start a bail fund. I checked my Sitemeter stats for fun today. Guess who came to visit yesterday? Someone from the originating site of senate.gov, that's who. And not just any schlub, either. According to the IP address, it was the US Senate Sergeant at Arms. And what, pray tell, was the good Sergeant interested in? Why, this post. Now, some nit-picky people might allege that our Congressional Betters are a bit slow on the uptake. First, the title of the post, "A Day in the Life of an Evil Conservative" is what's known as sarcasm. Look it up, Congresscritters, and be informed. Secondly, if you are going to hyperventilate about some of the words I chose to use that made you feel frightened, try and pick up on the alleged threat closer to the point of the post going up. It hasn't been February 2008 for a long time now.

Since the Sergeant at Arms only looked at the page for a grand total of 3 seconds, (or his webcrawler did), maybe he figured it out. And is now trying to explain to some dimwit in the Senate that yes, I AM allowed to do that. For now, anyway...

Latest Writing News

2012-01-09T13:21:00.000-08:00

If you were weeping silently into your beverage of choice because you simply could not afford one of my ebooks, despair no longer! Firehearted is now free on Amazon, until Jan. 11. Tell your friends!

Also, I now have a newsletter signup thing on my writing website. If you only want to know about Fantasy book news, you can do that. Ditto SF. Tell your friends about that, too. I promise not to sell your email into bondage.

Sunday Funnies

2012-01-08T05:13:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary Combat pay for brain surgery.
-TwoLumps Hummus should be banned.
-Girl Genius The castle needs time to recharge.
-No Need For Bushido Time to punch someone in the face.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Deployment leads to sighting of boobies.
-xkcd
-Amya Faye's friends will be rewarded...appropriately.
-Commander Kitty The dangers of being on the Friends list.

Not Updated, fie!

- Banished
-Dresden Codak
-Lackadaisy No comic, but new art.
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ ~~March~~ ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts is learning how to say "sandstorm" in all human languages.

Snark Dim Sum

2012-01-05T11:43:00.000-08:00

Dim Sum, I have been informed, translates as "little treasures" or some such. I have a valid Literary License, so don't judge me!

-Signs of Real Hope: At a bookstore, prominently displayed for sale, a "NoBama" 2012 calendar. In SEATTLE! I swearz! If it can happen here...

-Signs of Continuing Idiocy: The initiative to assimilate my neighborhood into the Greater Co-Prosperity Sphere of the nearby town was defeated. However, some dim bulbs think they want to try again THIS year, because obviously we didn't understand the issues. (The only issue I need to understand is the neighboring town wants my money.) I think it is time for some pitchforks to come out for cleaning.

-Signs of Spring: I have a primrose blooming in my yard. Actually blooming, in January. If I can get home during the 3 hours of daylight, I will photograph it as proof. If this be Global Warming, bring me more!

-Signs of Apathy: Why are all the top Republican candidates various shades of vanilla-flavored styrofoam? (I don't count RonPaul, only humans are eligible to be President). I want more shin-kicking and less bloviating. That applies to you too, Speaker Boehner.

Sunday Funnies

2012-01-01T04:28:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year, Comix lovers!

-Schlock Mercenary The Gavs visit the Transmorgrifier.
-TwoLumps Get drunk early, avoid the rush!
-Girl Genius Agatha is not going to hide.
-No Need For Bushido Ken is getting pushed around.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Where is the Ausfart, anyway?
-xkcd
-Amya Faye's father appears at the checkpoint just in time.
-Commander Kitty Nin Wah needs an explanation NOW.

Not Updated, fie!

Stormy Seas

2011-12-30T07:43:00.000-08:00

I don't know if this is for the year we're leaving, or the year we're about to have. Crank the sound, it's worth it. From The Awsomer.

What I No Longer Have

2011-12-23T07:13:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had my gallbladder removed. It was not being a team player. It was done laproscopically, meaning I was in and out of the hospital in four hours. The process was pretty comfortable, all things considered. Now I just have to persuade my cats that they are *not helping* by jumping on my sore spots. And yay for high-powered painkillers.

I tried all my powers of persuasion, but failed to bring my naughty gallbladder back home in a jar.

This is as close as they let you get, a felt imitation! UNFAIR.

Sunday Funnies

2011-12-18T04:39:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary The General will help, after the wedding.
-TwoLumps Further adventures involving zeppelins and goggles.
-Girl Genius The Jaegermonsters are ready to fight.
-No Need For Bushido Ken still wants to kill Nataku.
-Delta Bravo Sierra War in Iraq over, no parade.
-xkcd
-Amya Faye doesn't like being treated like luggage.
-Commander KittyThat isn't the real Yeoman Nin Wah!
- Banished Rak's ship is in tow.
-Dresden Codak The Department of Instillment.

Not Updated, fie!

-Lackadaisy No comic, but new art.
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ ~~March~~ ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts sez "no matter where you go, there's weather".

Yet another book!

2011-12-16T10:26:00.000-08:00

I am very happy to report that my second book is now available.More details at my writing blog. There have been those who have expressed dismay at the speed of new releases -- never fear! These are books I wrote some time ago. I just released them close together to maximize marketing effect. Next year I only plan to release three books (a SF trilogy) and maybe a few short stories. The pesky day job interferes with my massive writing plans.

This book features a very useful snowtiger, ancient evil human-devouring creatures, and lots of carefully researched battles!

Sunday Funnies

2011-12-11T04:38:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary The hazards of command.
-TwoLumps The positive points of artificial claws.
-Girl Genius The monster is in a committed relationship, thanks.
-No Need For Bushido Ken realizes he's in a boss battle.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Lucky is perma-deployed.
-xkcd
-Amya No long goodbyes.
-Commander KittyLittle Pink Kitten brings the cavalry.
- Banished Even half-strangled Rak can dish out the snark.

Not Updated, fie!

-Dresden Codak Dead computer has been resurrected, so new comic will appear soon!
-Lackadaisy No comic, but new art.
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ ~~March~~ ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts wonders what the Pashtun for "this way up" is.

Sunday Funnies

2011-12-04T02:31:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary Schlock has hacked Kevin's glasses.
-TwoLumps The adventures of BatCat.
-Girl Genius Agatha's house is on fire.
-No Need For Bushido What do you mean by "other army"?
-Delta Bravo Sierra There was no special forces weasel.
-xkcd
-Amya Fake passports are useful.
-Commander KittyFinish him, and make it squishy!
- Banished The bounty hunter has turned off Timbo.

Not Updated, fie!

And thanks again!

2011-11-29T12:12:00.000-08:00

To all the noble readers who posted reviews on Amazon, *completely* unprompted by me! Really, that warms the cockles of my cold, cinderlike heart ... (yes, I have a heart. I'm not saying it's original issue or anything, though.) Reviews are crucial to reassuring the timid buyer. I can say "this book won't give you cooties, please, just read the sample and see!" all I want, but everyone knows the author is biased. So again, thanks!

Thank You!

2011-11-27T10:30:00.000-08:00

If the Amazon servers are to be believed, I've already sold 11 copies of my book! You guys are the best invisible friends a blogger could hope for...

Now, go out and tell all *your* invisible friends about the book! Have loud conversations about it in public places! Buttonhole strangers in elevators! Woohooo!

Sunday Funnies

2011-11-27T06:54:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary The Gav ambassador makes drunken confessions.
-TwoLumps Ninjas steal leftovers.
-Girl Genius The Jaegers are ready to rumble.
-No Need For Bushido Uso is dead, and Yori needs medical attention.
-Delta Bravo Sierra The dangers of asking the cute chick out.
-xkcd
-Amya Accel really wants to leave now.
-Commander Kitty After being thrown into a wall, Commander Kitty feels like a spacer!
- Banished Rak meets a bounty hunter.

Not Updated, fie!

Confession

2011-11-25T10:13:00.000-08:00

Yes, your Humble Snarkatron has been keeping secrets from you--but no longer! It's time to come clean.

Secret #1: I'm a writer.
Secret #2: I just published my first book, a fantasy, and it's available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble as an ebook.
Secret #3: Read more at my writing website!

QuickSnarks

2011-11-21T09:03:00.000-08:00

-Annexation: The Forces of Good (that would be the no-annexation folks) are currently ahead by over 400 votes compared to the morally-compromised sign-stealing pro-annexation people. As I recall the area in question has around 10,000 people and over 7,000 have voted, which is pretty good turnout. They don't certify the results for another week, alas, so I won't know if my freedom to keep an attack goat on my property has been preserved until then. (gnaws nails)

-Penn State: Your Humble Snarkatron obtained her graduate degree from Penn State. It appears the child molestation happened well after my departure from Happy Valley, and I never had much to do with the football program (except to craft some Rabelaisian curses, at gunnery-sergeant level, when I discovered my vehicle had been towed, at 11:30 pm, in order to clear the parking lot so the alumni could park their RVs in comfort for an upcoming game.) I can say this--Penn State was hard core about keeping student athletes on their chosen academic track. As a teaching assistant I (briefly) had a student athlete on my rolls, and I was required to give semi-quarterly letter grade evaluations of said student. Fortunately the student switched classes because that would have been a major headache, given we didn't assign *letter* grades until the end of the semester. However, I did notice that football was the graven image of Penn State's idolatry, and it isn't very surprising that concealment of a heinous crime took place if exposure would have threatened the program. There's still more data coming out, and the main witness who supposedly witnessed an actual rape is changing his story in interesting ways. I spent six years at Penn State, and while JoePa and I weren't best buds he didn't strike me as the kind of man who would cover up child rape for any reason. Even football. I guess we'll find out more as things progress--but I like Sarah Palin's idea involving rope and a tree for Sandusky.

-Lack of Posting Lately: Yes, I have been lax. However, I have a really good excuse. Expect an announcement Thanksgiving Day--and if you can't wait that long, go here.

I want my yard sign back, you SOB!

2011-11-07T20:05:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Election Day. Not much of national, or even state import going on. But locally, oh my. See, I live in the Wild Frontier, outside a proper city. Unincorporated county land. Works great. Sure, when I need a cop I call the Sheriff, but other than that it is mostly remarkable for the lack of stupid regulations.

I like it that way.

Not everybody does. One particular busybody has been trying to make ALL of us out here join the nearby city, for the last ten years. The annexation initiative is on the ballot. I won't bore you with the ins and outs of why this is a spectacularly bad idea--it is enough that Snarkatron Disapproves. And, I had a nice official sign stating words to that effect in my yard.

Note the tense.

Some microencephalitic hominid decided to remove it tonight, lest it pollute the eyes of other voters and make them think dangerous, anti-annexation thoughts. This is the Pacific Northwest, and drainage is a way of life. There is a serious, moatlike ditch protecting my property. To remove the sign, said drooling idiot had to trespass on my property. HOW I would love to kick them in the shins for their audacity!

Instead, I made another sign. It isn't nearly as pretty, but it gets the point across. Especially the fine print at the bottom. "Go ahead, steal this sign. I'll just make more." Have people completely forgotten what democracy means? Do they ever wonder WHY we have elections, if all the good people think exactly the same things? Never mind don't answer that ....

More expensive for whom?

2011-11-01T15:24:00.000-07:00

So now Official Government Apparatchiks are floating the idea that really you don't need to take those scary preventative screening tests so often. You know, the ones that detect early cancer? So maybe you can treat it before it kills you? You see, it's expensive. Quoted from the link:

The screening tests themselves are often expensive.
Screening tests often produce false positive results, so additional (often invasive and always costly) testing will need to be done to confirm or deny the diagnosis.
If the diagnosis is made, treatment will be applied which is often dreadfully expensive.
The diagnostic testing is often “too sensitive,” such that it may make a positive diagnosis for a very early condition that, if it had been left alone, may not have done serious harm. The cost of treatment will therefore be wasted.
The screening test, the confirmatory tests, and the treatments that will be applied as a result of screening all carry the risk of complications, and the treatment of these complications can be extraordinarily costly.
If the patient’s life is saved by the screening test and subsequent therapy, that patient (who is often an Old Fart like DrRich) will persist, for several more years, to soak younger, worthier Americans for Social Security and Medicare payments; and worse, will ultimately develop some other expensive medical problem everyone else will have to pay for.

Snarkatron is not aware of any value assigned by the Death Panel for the individual patient's life, which is usually of IMMENSE value to said individual and worth all the costs of screening and treatment. If the government is going to refuse to pay to save my life and deny me the ability to pay for it myself, they are going to be in a world of hurt. That money isn't wasted from my perspective, just from the Death Panel's. So, let me keep my money!

Sunday Funnies

2011-10-30T02:15:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Bristlecone's affections have been edited.
-TwoLumps In the secret vault of gooshyfood.
-Girl Genius Time to meet the Heterodyne.
-No Need For Bushido Yori, did you check your target?
-Delta Bravo Sierra Guard towers not rated for T.Rex CSOs.
-xkcd
-Amya Felix vanishes.
-Commander Kitty Commander Kitty is indecisive.

Not Updated, fie!

-Dresden Codak Dead computer has been resurrected, so new comic will appear soon!
- Banished New chapter soon.
-Lackadaisy No comic, but new art.
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ ~~March~~ ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts is back to throwing himself at the ground and missing.

Proof of the Coming Apocalypse

2011-10-17T09:32:00.000-07:00

The tree that is blooming in October is my Bartlett pear. Proof of date provided by the voter's pamphlet. (Arguably another sign of doom.) Of course it didn't bloom this spring due to all the global warming, and I have no idea why it suddenly decided to make pears now. Good luck finding any bees to help with the process. Maybe it knows this is the last chance EVER. Mommy.

It's been nice knowing y'all...

Sunday Funnies

2011-10-16T04:02:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Para needs to warn her friends.
-TwoLumps A challenger appears.
-Girl Genius Gil has a big gun.
-No Need For Bushido Uso has a lot of clever tricks.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Col. Uar, of the JAG.
-xkcd
-Amya Vincent showed up, but whose side is he on?
- Banished Not one of them.
-Commander Kitty Zenith has a monster.

Not Updated, fie!

For a Monster's a Monster, No Matter How Small!

2011-10-11T12:53:00.000-07:00

Some warped individual is rewriting Lovecraft's Call of Cthulu in the style of Dr. Seuss. You're never too young to have the piss scared out of you. Check out the comments, too -- someone got a clip of the cutest little Elder Godling in action!

Snark Sampler

2011-10-07T08:52:00.000-07:00

Yeah, posting has gotten even more random than usual due to some exciting projects here at Snark Central. Stay tuned for an important announcement, hopefully in December. Meanwhile, here are some tasty morsels of snark...

-With the loss of Steve Jobs recently, some interesting financial information about Apple has come to my attention. Did you know Apple's profit margin is 25-30%? The much-maligned Exxon Mobile is lucky to make 10%, and the condensed evil of the health insurance companies only produces 3-5%. Given the pronunciamento of the current administration and their handmaidens in the press, moral turpitude is apparently inversely proportional to profit. Why aren't the Occupy Wall Street punkins protesting the evil corporate greed of Apple, hmm?

-The Tea Party and Republicans have a black candidate (Mr. Cain) and Ms. Garofalo sees it as a mere coverup of bone-deep racism. The Democrats have a black candidate (Mr. Obama) and that is proof of their virtuous colorblindness. Any criticism of the President's economic plans is considered to originate solely in racism. Can some kind liberal explain exactly how one can criticize Mr.Obama without being racist? I'm sure they don't want to claim he can do no wrong because of his skin color. Do liberals really think that if Obama was white conservatives wouldn't be criticizing his puerile economic ideas?

-France Bans Ketchup: You can't make this stuff up. You see, the ignorant schoolchildren were dousing the culinary treats of La France with ketchup to cover up the taste. Dear silly Frenchmen--if your food was actually good the kids wouldn't do that. Why not punish the cooks that profaned your traditional recipes instead of the children?

It Only Takes One

2011-10-05T13:06:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Dr. Schechtman, who has just been awarded the Nobel Prize in Chemistry for discovering quasicrystals. Despite the scorn and discouragement of his colleagues, Dr. Schechtman did not fall for the "science is consensus" nonsense -- and now he has a Nobel to hang on his wall. Nothing is as sweet as proving your detractors wrong--well, maybe proving them wrong and getting a Nobel Prize doing it.

During the Second World War Germany got a hundred scientists to sign on to a broadside claiming Einstein (persona non grata there for being a non-dead Jew) was wrong. When the reporters told him a hundred scientists said he was wrong and asked his opinion, he merely said "If I was really wrong, it would only take one."

Sunday Funnies

2011-10-02T06:58:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Sometimes flying suits are a bad idea.
-TwoLumps One fish one cup.
-Girl Genius Mechanicsburg wakes up.
-No Need For Bushido Yori now has an Ina targeting system. Uso is not happy.
-Delta Bravo Sierra No shit, there I was...
-xkcd
-Amya Everybody is mad at Felix.
- Banished Timbo isn't a robot.
-Commander Kitty Where does one keep ferret brains?

Not Updated, fie!

Exactly as I Predicted

2011-09-30T10:01:00.000-07:00

via Instapundit, the latest development in carbon nanotechnology. Nested graphene wires inside nanotubes. I made the prediction several years ago that C60 and carbon nanotubes would be the LEGO blocks of nanotechnology. Carbon naturally wants to form graphene, and buckyballs, and nanotubes. You just have to tweak a few environmental conditions to get more of one than the other. And because it is so (comparatively) easy to do, you can play with more combinations of things to get the eentsy-weentsy (scientific term) electronic devices we can use. The more we play with carbon, the more we'll learn how to do the same things with compounds that don't want to make neat shapes all on their own. At this rate we'll have wearable supercomputers. Maybe even jet packs!

AVAST!

2011-09-19T04:38:00.000-07:00

Arrrgh, and ye know well 'tis the day known to all that swill the rum and buckle the cutlass as

International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Run up the Jolly Roger! Curse and loot and pillage and speak disrespectfully of sin! Start a swordfight during a boring meeting! Argue about the etymological origins of the word "Kraken", especially with regard to pronunciation of same! Ponder the great philosophical questions of the ages!

Why? Because it's fun! And because while ninjas are cool, you can't have International Talk Like a Ninja Day for obvious reasons. So, Pirates!

Random Snark

2011-09-16T08:21:00.000-07:00

-Observed by Snarkatron her own self, to much bemusement--a motorcycle with handicapped plates. The individual operating the motorcycle appeared to have all original limbs in working order. The mind boggles at precisely what handicap would permit said special plates yet allow safe operation of A FREAKING MOTORCYCLE.

-Seasonal Weather, Transitions Of: A gradual easing-in to new seasons would be appreciated. None of this 80 degree sunny day followed by chilly overcast with a layer of dead leaves appearing out of nowhere. *Some* of us do not go gently into that good night called winter.

-IMPORTANT REMINDER! Monday, September 19 is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. This blog fully supports ITLPD and seeks to spread observance to every corner of the globe. Arrrr!

-Poor Ace is getting a headache trying to figure out how anyone could be so stupid as to come up with Gunwalker, and what they were attempting to accomplish when they did it. His problem is being able to think rationally. See, rational people internalize the scientific method, to wit: if the data does not support the theory you dump the theory. Many a beautiful theory has been slain by an ugly little fact. For a distressingly large number of liberals (most of them in high positions in this administration) the scientific method is anathema. They KNOW what the truth is. Ergo, if they can't find evidence to prove what they believe there is *no ethical dilemma* for them in making shit up. It puzzled them mightily they could find no evidence of massive illegal gun sales in the US to Mexico, because they *knew* it was happening. So, they just "helped" reality a little. And since they also have a low opinion of ground-level ATF officers (who probably made the mistake of telling them there was no massive illegal gun trafficking), they thought they could a) just order the cretins around and b) they wouldn't ask awkward questions like "how are we going to track the guns, then?" They didn't think they would get caught because they thought they weren't doing anything wrong! They've done stuff like this before. They know the Tea Party is teh Racist, so they keep looking for racists and finding a) black Tea Partiers and c) LaRouche nutters. They planted a flowing-robe, full-bearded Arab plus a few total burka-covered ladies at a NASCAR race and were all primed to video the ensuing vile prejudice--which never happened. But they didn't go back and re-examine their assumptions, that would be *work*.

"Evil is real and so is courage"

2011-09-11T05:15:00.000-07:00

This is the day we remember. Remember the sinking feeling in the stomach as the news reports came in. An accident. Another plane. Not an accident. The Pentagon. Not an accident.

There are no words to convey the contempt I feel for Dionne and his fellow travelers, who are tired of remembering 9/11. It's so sad. It happened ten years ago, can we just get over it already? It's such a downer.

And then she was fire and then she was ash.

That little girl would have been 12 years old now, if she had lived. But no, some pinheaded jihadis just had to use a passenger airplane (that they could never have built) and fly it into a glorious skyscraper (that they could never have built) BECAUSE THEY HATE US. They hate the West for inventing all the things they use for their bombs. They hate science, they hate learning, they hate tolerance. They especially hate little girls. So if you want more of that, Mr. Dionne, by all means bare your throat to the knife. You do realize they also don't know how to sharpen them?

Today is not a day of community service, despite the President's attempts to make it one. Islamic terrorists did not attack us because of roadside litter, or poorly maintained hiking trails, or unpainted housing for the poor. (The uncovered hair and bare arms rate 3.8 fatwas, Mrs. Obama...) The things we value, even the things liberals value, they loathe and want to wipe from the Earth. I intend to fight them until they NEVER ATTACK US AGAIN. When they fear to attack us again. That's when we'll know "it's over."

Richard Fernandez puts it perfectly:

The story of September 11 must for all time become the story of how a certain date became unspeakable to al-Qaeda and its followers; a tale of how this day of all others, became the blackest day in the history of Islam. It should forever be a date that can never be mentioned without arousing a deep sense of shame throughout the Middle East so that in generations hence, people should still come up to strangers unbidden and say, “I’m sorry for September 11. “ Until then it is unfinished business.
We have no right to forgive. We have no right to forget. We have no right to move on until this final condition is met. That in the holy of holies of our civilization’s enemies, in the innermost recesses of their sanctum sanctorum they should say with heartfelt ardor: never again. Never again. Never, ever again.

Saturday Funnies.

2011-09-10T07:37:00.000-07:00

Comix a day early, to keep this Sunday for another purpose--that doesn't mix well with teh funny.

-Schlock Mercenary A subverted combat robot and an operative who believes in leaving a clean crime scene.
-TwoLumps Snooch swears off dental floss.
-Girl Genius Violetta figures it out.
-No Need For BushidoYori is not doing so good. Where the hell is Ina to tell off Uso?
-Delta Bravo Sierra Don't eat the squids.
-xkcd
-Amya Someone is displeased with Felix.
- Banished Rak displays a tactical understanding of 'the better part of valor'.
-Commander Kitty Zenith considers grading perfection on a curve.

Not Updated, fie!

-Dresden Codak
-Lackadaisy
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ ~~March~~ ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts recalls the Cenozoic era fondly.

Sunday Funnies

2011-09-04T04:38:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary The pros and cons of getting arrested.
-TwoLumps Setting food dish on fire? Bad plan.
-Girl Genius Otilia has some conditions.
-No Need For BushidoSome arrows are illusion--but one is not.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Pandas eat, shoots, and leaves.
-xkcd
-Amya Faye lands safely, Felix is annoyed.
- Banished Rak wants to know how to fly the ship.
-Commander Kitty Zenith considers grading perfection on a curve.

Not Updated, fie!

Progressive Worldview Holed Below Waterline

2011-09-01T08:30:00.000-07:00

It's the little things that you keep sweeping under the rug/stuffing in to Fibber McGee's closet that eventually rear up and bite you. Case in point, the recent decision by the Cherokee Nation's court to exclude the Freedmen from the tribal rolls (and the free healthcare and education and so on). In and of itself, it's really only of direct interest to the ~3K Freedmen themselves -- not that I mean to trivialize the effect on them. The Earth-Shattering Kaboom™ is the new public awareness of who the Freedmen are and how they got there. All progressively-educated children are aware of the Trail of Tears, the Cherokee removal by force from Tennessee to Oklahoma. Oppression by evil white people against pure, innocent brown people! Easy to tell who the good guys are here. Except that the Cherokee were quite capable of oppressing others even while they themselves were being oppressed. Some of them owned slaves, and they took those slaves with them on the Trail of Tears. The descendants of those slaves became the Freedmen, and were initially voted in to the tribe after the Civil War--a generous and fair decision.

Now, I knew about this because my Cherokee great-grandmother was one of those slave owners. This history is personal. I've never felt that I get to hide the shameful things my ancestors did while touting the interesting bits. In my opinion, it would be better for everyone to drag the skeletons out of the closet and have a grand accounting, if only so that future generations don't have to hide the truth any more. And, it makes everyone more human. It makes the calculus of racial guilt so burdensome it can be finally discarded. It no longer is enough to say "who oppressed you?" when handing out Absolute Moral Authority cards. Regardless of the color of your skin, you are human--and all humans should be held to the same standards. If it was wrong for white people to have slaves, it was wrong for the Cherokee to have slaves.

Sunday Funnies

2011-08-28T04:38:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Ethics 101 for the field agent.
-TwoLumps Fried gravy with gravy on top.
-Girl Genius The robot cats ride to Gil's rescue.
-No Need For BushidoUso uses his other eye.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Marines wear shock collars.
-xkcd
-Amya Faye launches herself out a window. Artistically.
- Banished Timbo makes Rak wake up.
-Commander Kitty Is Nin Wah an android now?
-Lackadaisy Lots of new comic, and getting chased by a hearse in a cornfield.

Not Updated, fie!

-Dresden Codak
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ ~~March~~ ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts is so old even God has run out of zeroes.

Sunday Funnies

2011-08-14T04:38:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Evaporating foam and duffle bags that aren't.
-TwoLumps Mind over weather.
-Girl Genius Vole is having a hard day.
-No Need For Bushido Ken does his patented flying kadoosh! attack.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Specialist Raccoon doesn't feel like being detailed.
-xkcd
-Amya Felix is not a nice person.
- Banished Timbo watches the mine leave.
-Commander Kitty Nin Wah has a new arm.
-Dresden Codak Always remember.

Not Updated, fie!

-Lackadaisy
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ ~~March~~ ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts is looking for dock equipment that fell off a truck.

Using an Expensive Camera to Smash Bugs

2011-08-11T11:51:00.000-07:00

When the first news came out of the terrible loss of life in the recent helicopter crash in Afghanistan I knew to wait for a few news cycles. Lots of details get confused, fog of war, etc. It's also hard to know what the people on the scene know, especially when so much of it is of necessity classified. However, the things that have been reported that are not in dispute raise some questions.

-Why were so many SEALs in one helicopter? There are claims that this was an elaborate Taliban trap (naturally, the Taliban are most fond of this version) but in reality one bozo with an RPG getting lucky is all it takes. Helicopters do not want to fly. They don't glide well. If you have 20+ very valuable SEALs (and I do not mean to imply the lives of any of those serving are less valuable) why jam them in one fragile package for easy destruction?

-Why were SEALs used at all? The most recent story is they were called in by the Rangers to help prevent targets from getting away. It's news to me that you use sneaky special ops small-team types like SEALs as backup troops for bulk daylight operations. Unless they are the ONLY TROOPS AVAILABLE because some feckless halfwit in the White House has declared a troop drawdown in Afghanistan. If that is the case, I am severely cheesed off.

-Speaking of feckless halfwits, why are we getting any information at all about the SEALs? Sure, release the names of the dead. They deserve our recognition. But you DON'T need to identify them as SEALs, or that they were Team 6, or all the rest. Don't give the bad guys any extra information that they can use to narrow down a list of *still living* SEALs to attack.

Sunday Funnies

2011-08-07T05:28:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Schlock knows the brass never believes it's the gun's fault.
-TwoLumps Gaseous warfare.
-Girl Genius The super kitty robot has arrived.
-No Need For Bushido No, you didn't kill all the Daisuke. But good job reminding the sole survivor how much he hates you.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Taking up smoking to go cold-turkey on carrots.
-xkcd
-Amya Faye will not be allowed to return.
- Banished The whole mine is leaving now.
- Ratfist With Ricky's noble sacrifice, Gina is saved and Ratfist comes to a close. Stay tuned for something involving sasquatches....
-Commander Kitty The transporter works and Ace wants Mittens to try it.

Not Updated, fie!

-Lackadaisy
-Dresden Codak
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ ~~March~~ ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts is hunting a rogue 404 page with extreme prejudice.

You Keep Using That Word

2011-08-04T08:29:00.000-07:00

Somebody needs to go sift through the wreckage of the once thriving Borders' Bookstores and find some good, large-print dictionaries for all the pontificating liberals. Maybe the kind with pictures. And put bookmarks in for the following words--

Unexpected: Right about the 10th time in a row something happens you lose the right to call it unexpected unless you are a goldfish (or Joe Biden). These things are no longer unexpected: increasing job losses, inflation, President Obama's plummeting approval rating, barely measurable economic growth.

Terrorist: A terrorist is an individual who uses extra-legal destruction and death in support of an agenda. Actual people actually die. Terrorists do not use laws or the structures of laws, nor do they care much about killing children on purpose. Tea Party supporters haven't killed anyone, and are mostly fanatic about the highest law of the land, the Constitution. It is not terrorism to insist that Congress obey the laws that give them power, which, by the way, comes from the people. People like the Tea Party. If confused, try the following test. See which of these phrases will cause people to run and scream. "Oh my God, he's got a bomb!" vs. "Oh my God, he's got a copy of the US Constitution!". (results not guaranteed for Congress, goldfish, or Joe Biden).

Compromise: This does NOT mean "total and abject surrender of the other side". Just a hint. It means nobody gets everything they want, or they have to pay a huge price for it. It does not mean Democrats win and Republicans lose. It does not mean it is "fair" for the other side to unilaterally give up a position of strength.

Economic Recovery: This is a condition where the economy *today* is better than the economy *last month*. Note for Joe Biden, Congress, and goldfish--this has not happened. You can keep saying the word but it doesn't DO anything. People do not have jobs, houses are being foreclosed on, and businesses are not hiring. This is not a recovery, it's a death spiral.

Fiscal Responsibility: Actual quote from an email from my Senator Patty Murray

Over the course of the last month, Washington state families have written me in record numbers to lend their voice to the debt ceiling debate. Many, who had never e-mailed or called their elected official before, wrote to ask for compromise and sanity in this debate. They told me about the tough but reasonable choices they made to rein in their own finances and how they couldn’t understand why it was so difficult for Washington, D.C. to do the same. That’s why I voted this week to raise the debt-ceiling and avoid default.

You know, never mind. She seems to know what the words are, can use them correctly in a sentence, and the logical *meaning* completely escapes her. Tell me how you get to the highlighted section from the rest, because in my universe, when I "rein in my finances" I don't go out and get another damn credit card. Maybe her goldfish wrote that email.

Sunday Funnies

2011-07-31T04:37:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Sorry, the surrender line is busy. Please leave a message at the BOOM.
-TwoLumps Super Poop.
-Girl Genius Gil and Tarvek are getting squished.
-No Need For Bushido Ken has a whole new Wataro army to play with.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Lucky tries to quit carrots.
-xkcd
-Amya Felix wants to talk.
- Banished Something there is that does not love a wiretapping system.
- Ratfist Ricky makes a choice.
-Commander Kitty A healthy snack for energy!

Not Updated, fie!

Random Snark

2011-07-28T20:43:00.000-07:00

- Did someone replace the brains of everyone in Washington DC with Folger's Crystals? Because outside of a massive leak in a nitrous oxide factory, I've never seen so much concentrated stupidity in action. The Democrats seem to think the Constitution doesn't apply to them, and the Republicans keep flopping like gaffed fish. Someone needs to hire a skywriter to send the message WE HAVE NO MORE MONEY. How old are these people, and can they actually dress themselves without Velcro?
-Alternate Take: Snarkatron freely admits to having rolled low when generating the Charisma and Diplomacy stats. Could it be that Speaker Boehner is actually orchestrating the delays on the vote (that he has already been assured by Reid ( the Corpse that Walks Like a Man) and the current occupant of the White House is dead, no go this station, not going to happen bill) to run out the clock on any other option than his? No idea. Personally, I think there should be a law allowing every citizen one free smack with a rolled up newspaper, per Representative/Senator, per year. And I've got a lot of follow-through, just so you know.
-Questions Nobody is Asking about the Norwegian Nut: So whats-his-face, the guy who thought it would be a good idea for him to slaughter a bunch of kids in the name of European Nationalism, is pretty much a textbook sociopath. Few friends, inability to get with a female who hasn't been paid LOTS of money, grandiose schemes, fancy uniforms (this last seems to be a European fixation...), and a curious lack of emotional affect that makes him look like a wax dummy. Can't even be bothered to come up with a completely original manifesto and plagiarizes huge gobs of the UNABOM screed, suitably altered with search and replace. At first I marveled at modern technology and how quickly the news services had managed to translate the original Norwegian. Turns out the loon wrote everything in English. Doesn't that strike *anyone* as a trifle odd? He's a purported nationalist, after all. Europe first. England (don't hit me, Limeys!) is usually not considered Europe by Europeans, and I will not sully the shell-like ears (eyes?) of my precious few readers by what Europeans think of Americans. So, why? And it is too cute that his Facebook page got altered *while he was in police custody* to indicate he was a fervent Christian. I'm not religious myself but I have plenty of friends who are, and all the Christians I know would throw themselves in front of a gunman to save any child, even a Muslim one. The newsies, however, don't even bother to do the most minimal logic check when it matches their rancid stereotypes.
- Literature: To take your mind off your troubles (by giving you more) the Bulwer-Lytton 2011 contest winners have been announced!

Sunday Funnies

2011-07-24T04:09:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary When taken prisoner, don't forget to tell your friends.
-TwoLumps Funding the relaxing game.
-Girl Genius How to take out a deranged Jaegermonster.
-No Need For Bushido It's time to play KADOOOSH!
-Delta Bravo Sierra The best coonskin hat is fresh.
-xkcd
-Amya The desk clerk was warned.
- Banished Rak has woken an ancient wiggly evil thing.
- Ratfist Losing Milt.
-Commander Kitty Ace is fired up.

Not Updated, fie!

Bye-Bye Borders

2011-07-22T08:35:00.000-07:00

The mighty Borders Bookstore is no more. I remember thinking how wonderful they were when I first encountered one. Lots and lots of books, all different topics, and comfy chairs to browse from. The staff was friendly and knowledgeable. Some of the stores even had the same wide range of eclectic music.

The years passed, and I started noticing little things. A few books I wanted weren't there--they were happy to order them for me, but it would take days and then I'd have to drive *back* and park and all the attendant hassle. When instead, I could just look it up on Amazon and have it *mailed* to my house in the same amount of time.

Then I noticed there were fewer books on the bookshelves and more plastic toys, mini-Zen-garden kits, and sparkly cards. Fewer nifty CDs in the music store, and the DVDs were expensive compilations of TV shows I had no interest in. The staff was less amazing, more pierced, and more political. Amazon got more and more of my business.

It's sad, like a favorite aunt fading into awkward senility. The things you loved are gone, and you realize the true death happened long ago.

Here, let me draw you a picture

2011-07-21T06:44:00.000-07:00

The cosmic ray kerfuffle made me think of this:

From the highly funny and accurate PHD Comics. If anything, the writer has toned it down.

CERN, Cosmic Rays, and You

2011-07-20T18:37:00.000-07:00

So the Director of CERN has made the news by making a ham-fisted announcement prohibiting scientists there from "interpreting" some interesting cosmic ray results. I say ham-fisted because the most likely explanation is not scientific suppression but a well-meaning attempt to stay out of the shark pool of the Global Warming debate. Instead, he just stabbed himself repeatedly in the face with a fork and *then* jumped in the shark tank. Now everyone, including the global warming aficionados, think the data will make AGW supporters look bad.

I'm not even sure why this is news, since the mechanism behind the cloud chamber has been known for almost 100 years and speculation that cosmic ray interaction with the upper atmosphere seeded clouds has been around for some time. But any day you get a reporter to sit still for five minutes and listen about science is a golden opportunity to get some information in their thick skulls and we shouldn't refuse the opportunity.

Basically the way it works is like this. The Earth has a magnetic field which, in addition to powering Boy Scout compasses, protects us scampering carbon-based life-forms from solar radiation and other high-energy particles. The Sun also has a very powerful magnetic field, and when the Sun is magnetically active (read: lots of sunspots) the outermost edges of the field actually blend and cover the magnetic field of the Earth and give extra protection. When solar magnetic activity is low (like right now) we get less protection from energetic particles. Cosmic rays are highly energetic particles usually from other stars, which gives you an idea of how powerful they are to have gotten here in the first place. What Svensmark and other researchers speculate is that in times of high cosmic ray exposure, cloud cover on Earth is increased and the surface cools. When fewer cosmic rays seed clouds the surface warms up. This is the long-anticipated mechanism that explains the observed connection between sunspots and Earth temperature, so of course the global warming folks want to smother it in its crib. Humans are not involved at any step in the process, you see.

Sunday Funnies

2011-07-10T04:57:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary When in doubt, use the big-ass gun.
-TwoLumps Bowtie!
-Girl Genius Ticktoffen has betrayed so many people he needs a list to keep them straight.
-No Need For Bushido Lord Maru is not in a good situation
-Delta Bravo Sierra Annoying Specialist is now a grease spot on the sidewalk of history.
-xkcd
-Amya Faye finds a book sale.
- Banished Rak is a target.
- Ratfist Kill the rich! Even if it is us!

Not Updated, fie!

-Lackadaisy
-Commander Kitty
-Dresden Codak
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ ~~March~~ ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts is looking for cheesy bean burritos to remind him of home.

The Dark Side of Electronic Publishing

2011-07-07T11:31:00.000-07:00

The great thing about electronic self-publishing is the ease with which authors can make their works available for sale in giant marketplaces such as Amazon. The bad thing is it is also very easy for spammers to put up utter junk and thieves to steal an author's book and attempt to publish it as their own. This happened to author Ruth Ann Nordin and despite multiple attempts to get Amazon to take the infringing book down, all they do is tell her to email their copyright division.

Now the book did get removed (by the thief) because Ruth sent up the emergency flare to all her friends and readers via Twitter and Facebook. Other authors got involved. Net result, a whole bunch of one-star reviews titled THIS BOOK IS STOLEN and no further profit for the slimy bastard.

This is going to happen again, and Amazon needs to be proactive about it. We're talking text files here, and there already exist handy programs to check for plagiarism. Checking every submitted book might overwhelm the servers, but there should certainly be random spot checks -- and ANY report of a stolen book should be immediately investigated. If the claim is proven, then the infringer should be banned and all monies refunded. There has to be a better way to keep things clean. I'm hoping Amazon doesn't just jump to a fee to upload -- although if that were refunded after a year it might not be so bad. Spammers aren't that patient.

Sunday Funnies

2011-07-03T05:03:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary A potential marketing problem.
-TwoLumps Reindeer are colorblind.
-Girl Genius The Baron is dead? And Vole is on the rampage with a machinegun.
-No Need For Bushido Maru down for the count. Where is Ken?
-Delta Bravo Sierra The Annoying Specialist thinks he's dehydrated.
-xkcd
-Amya Faye is to be dumped off at the inn. Everyone has errands.
- Banished Rak is really tired of the escalating threat situation.
- Ratfist Mr. Black is running out of lives.
-Commander Kitty The Perfect Mate doesn't need to talk.

Not Updated, fie!

Cats, Armload, One Ea., For Herding

2011-06-28T07:06:00.000-07:00

From the pages of Cute Overload, a glimpse into the Army research program attempting to weaponize cuteness. Progress is slow because the researchers keep dissolving into puddles of goo.

Sunday Funnies

2011-06-26T04:57:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary So what is behind the secret doors?
-TwoLumps Mourning the loss of the real-life Eben. Heaven is full of sunny napping spots.
-Girl Genius BAD CAT ROBOTS! My peeeeple!
-No Need For Bushido Lord Maru thinks Atsumori makes a really good bludgeon.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Choking noises.
-xkcd
-Amya Felix will meet them later. I'm suspicious.
- Banished Timbo doesn't want to be vaporized.
- Ratfist Rescuing Mr. Black from the brig of Simian Icthus.
-Commander Kitty Mittens loses his cool.

Not Updated, fie!

Military Innovation

2011-06-24T11:37:00.000-07:00

It's just not enough to have bigger and badder boomsticks than the other guy. Oh no. You've got to make sure the guys wielding the bigger, badder boomsticks are vibrating with caffeine. Dear Readers, I give you the new, improved First Strike Rations! Reportedly they have been approved, but none have been sighted in the wild. I am suspicious. Maybe we are not ready for caffeinated chocolate pudding?

What Do You Mean, No Military Surplus Death Rays?

2011-06-20T11:44:00.000-07:00

The Senate, possibly worried about the Potential for Misuse™, have cut off funding for the Navy's rail gun and free electron laser projects. This cuts off a potential avenue for acquiring a Death Ray on my current budget, and I am quite peeved. Besides, anybody that names a free electron laser "Blitzer" deserves our support.

"Misuse" covers such acts of turpitude as a) winning, b) projecting American power, c) protecting the defenseless, d) inconveniencing terrorists/pirates/dictators/alien invaders

Sunday Funnies

2011-06-19T16:31:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Schlock doesn't care if they kill the hostage.
-TwoLumps Bunny! Ahahahahaha!
-Girl Genius Agatha has a cool new ride.
-No Need For Bushido Yep, Atsumori is toast.
-Delta Bravo Sierra A specialist at avoiding work
-xkcd
-Amya Faye is worried about something.
- Banished The virtue of sneak attacks depends heavily on whether you are on the giving or receiving end.
- Ratfist The danger of witty banter during a fight.
-Dresden Codak A job with Dark Science.
-Commander Kitty The androids will fix Nin Wah.

Not Updated, fie!

The Truth about Teddy Bears

2011-06-16T07:29:00.000-07:00

Turns out they are Silent Professionals who never boast of their abilities. Semper Fluffy!

Sunday Funnies

2011-06-12T05:02:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary It's hard to interrogate someone who keeps critiquing your technique.
-TwoLumps When AC is not a good thing.
-Girl Genius Explaining things to the new minions.
-No Need For Bushido Atsumori doesn't want to be a hostage.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Kangaroo Sergeant!
-xkcd
-Amya Strange footprints in the road.
- Banished Sunny, with a 90% chance of falling spaceship wreckage.
- Ratfist Mr.Black, a bowl of chili, and the future.

Not Updated, fie!

-Dresden Codak
-Commander Kitty
-Lackadaisy
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ ~~March~~ ah hell with it, he'll update whenever Iron Sky releases, I guess.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts wants a hover-bike.

Women Seem Wicked When You're Unwanted

2011-06-07T11:48:00.000-07:00

So much of the current news is Variations on a Theme of Tube Steaks it's hard to find anything else to blog about. I don't know how to break it to the male of the species, but *YOU* are the ones who get turned on purely by visuals. Sorry. So, the fascination with the photos of the Prominent Member of Congress escapes me. (I'd be delighted if he is so crippled by the controversy he either quits and becomes a monk or can't get anything done because the rest of the August Body is pointing and giggling.)

However! Per Instapundit, Andrew Klavan mischievously posits that this is All Women's Fault. You see, we (that is, all women) encourage loutish behavior such as that exhibited by the HotDog of Congress and so we get more of it. Yes, really. Read the whole thing. "Chicks dig these creeps!" he states, and lists other exemplars such as Arnold Schwartzenegger and Dominique (who is a man) Strauss-Kahn.

An important principle of science and experimentation is to only modify one variable at a time. I'll agree all three men have got serious issues with how they treat women. I'll even agree they have a surprising number of attractive (really, Arnold?) women willing to put up with their problems. However. Extrapolating from three very famous, rich and/or powerful men to all jerks? What you really need to do is first select your experimental sample from ALL jerks, and then see how many bimbos attach like remoras as a function of the fame/power/money variable. My feminine instincts inform me that were Wiener (ah! that name!) a minimum-wage parking lot attendant from a long line of parking lot attendants--and with the same obnoxious behavior--he'd have a hard time finding any willing female companionship.

Look on the bright side, Mr. Klavan. Jerks who have nothing but their jerk behavior get nothing. Jerks with money or power get the kind of women who just want money and power, and do you really want them? Why don't you lead by example and "not encourage that kind of behavior"?

Oh yeah. You get turned on by visuals. Never mind ...

Sunday Funnies

2011-05-29T05:41:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Flying has its drawbacks.
-TwoLumps Never let kitties get your credit cards.
-Girl Genius Mechanicsburg is under attack! (With bonus giant flying monkeys)
-No Need For Bushido And a strange sound echoes over the battlefield...
-Delta Bravo Sierra Yes, even zombies must wear safety belts.
-xkcd
-Amya Felix remembers Faye.
- Banished The Boscis admiral better have a really good plan.
- Ratfist The Fairness Committee finds Ratfist unfair.

Not Updated, fie!

Sunday Funnies

2011-05-22T04:32:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Ennesby will probably have flashbacks.
-TwoLumps How to tell reality, part I.
-Girl Genius Ladies are delicate creatures and will beat the living snot out of you until you pray for merciful death.
-No Need For Bushido Yori sees through the lies. Still bleeding, though.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Rarely mentioned NCO duty: re-inflating peeps.
-xkcd
-Amya Tantalizing hints of the coming month.
- Banished Well, now we know what the TSA will evolve into after a few thousand years.
-Commander Kitty Goons run away, Nin Wah victorious.
-NEW COMIC! Ratfist A very funny comic on the dangers of being bitten by a radioactive rat.

Not Updated, fie!

-Dresden Codak
-Lackadaisy
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ ~~March~~ April comic.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts has no idea where the helicopter went.

The Mediscare ad, now with rewrites by Snarkatron!

2011-05-19T12:10:00.000-07:00

I love Patterico's term for the "Roll Granny off the Cliff" political ad. Mediscare. Covers it all, really. What's fun is the conservatives can take this same ad scenario and with just a few changes, make their point and stomp all over the socialized medicine folks.

[Enter Bad Man, wearing fake rubber mask, pushing Old Lady in a wheelchair].
Bad Man: No really, I'm Paul Ryan, Evil Conservative! (bwahaha). Can't you tell by the way I part my hair?
Old Lady: You don't look anything like that nice Paul Ryan, who's so polite. Where's my purse? You took my purse. I need to take my pills.
BM: No you don't. (sweetly)Don't you remember? We agreed those pills are too expensive, and they don't really help that much. And your money will help pay for *other* people's pills, isn't that nice?
OL: *We* didn't agree to any such thing, and I wouldn't need the wheelchair if I could take the pills.
BM: Yes, yes, but you can't work and earn money for me to tax so it's all the same. And speaking of needing the wheelchair, I'm afraid the Health Care Redistribution Panel has found someone with a greater need for it. [Tips old lady over cliff] [Shouts down] It's for the greater good!
[Pushes empty wheelchair offscreen, whistling "Always look on the bright side of life"]
[Music changes to the theme from Conan the Barbarian. A wrinkled hand appears at the cliff edge, and a very pissed off old lady crawls over the top, clutching a cane like a sword.]
Voiceover: It's time to fight back. Vote to repeal Obamacare. Or I'll give you such a smack!

Setting Expectations

2011-05-17T09:09:00.000-07:00

We've cleared out some of the stranger, moldy items in the Conservative Presidential Candidate refrigerator, but what remains isn't precisely appetizing either. There are a few new and untested items (Cain) but the vast majority are slight variations on unflavored gelatin and nobody can get very excited about them. There has been much moaning and wailing about the field of realistically possible and declared candidates, and I agree --nothing to get excited about.

Fortunately, we don't have to. On the presidential level I will definitely be voting for Not Obama, so that's easy. There's a lot of repair work to be done and defensive fortifications to throw up to make sure the disaster of the current administration is a) fixed and b) never happens again. Snarkatron wishes to remind all enraged voters that we will be voting on LOTS of federal positions other than president, and for those positions there are candidates who are *not* lumps of unflavored gelatin.

These people will form the foundation that the lump of unflavored gelatin, elected to the presidency, will have to work with to get anything done. So, THESE are the people we need to fight for. They will also form the base for a future presidential election where we can finally vote FOR someone, instead of against.

And if that doesn't work, we'll break out the pitchforks and torches.

Sunday Funnies

2011-05-15T04:27:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Your commanding officer does not want to know about the steaming pile of bloody corpses.
-TwoLumps Fireflies are bright!
-Girl Genius Baron Wulfenbach tells a story.
-No Need For Bushido How many times can Yori dodge?
-Delta Bravo Sierra You can always tell a Marine, but you can't tell him much.
-xkcd
-Amya A caravan approaches.
- Banished Rak is rescued by Mammazons only to witness a giant space battle.
-Commander Kitty Zenith doesn't like them any more.
-Lackadaisy Zeb spends time in the clink, and meets an uncomfortably observant Revenuer.

Not Updated, fie!

-Dresden Codak
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ ~~March~~ April comic.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts is leading young puppies astray.

Do I have this right?

2011-05-13T09:51:00.000-07:00

According to Press Release #34, Our Fearless Leader instead of blowing up Osama's hidey-hole with as much explosive as we could pack in a JDAM specifically required SEALs on the ground to "get proof". Okay then. Proof of Osama's death is important enough to risk a) injury and/or death of said SEAL team members, b) failure of entire mission since it is pretty much impossible to sneak up on someone in a helicopter, c) risk that some or all of the equipment used could be captured or found after the raid (like, say, a rotor element that didn't get burned up and now is in a box marked "ship to China"?) Obama wanted proof. Pictures. Very important to have pictures.

For us commoners, however, not so much. *We* don't need to have proof that our resources, our people, were put at risk for a good reason.

He gets pictures and we don't because he's better than us.

This is us with one hand tied behind our backs

2011-05-04T14:14:00.000-07:00

The current administration is famous for groveling to our enemies and insulting our allies. It keeps trying to cast terrorism as a slightly aggravated form of littering that can be dealt with by policemen and court trials. The only people afraid of President Obama are our (at least for now) allies who have shared sensitive intelligence with us because if he ever gets the intellectual half-nelson on this "intertubes" thingy VP Biden will tweet it all, 120 characters at a time.

So. Osama bin Ladin is dead, because we wanted him that way. Despite his efforts at concealment, despite Pakistan's I-din't-see-nuffing comedy routine. Despite having a moldy dishrag as a President. It's pretty evident, based on the mind-boggling stupidity of the press releases of what happened during the raid, changing every five minutes, that the skilled and professional *military* side of the operation cannot have been directed or even supervised by President Obama or his team. There are rumors to the effect it only went off because he *didn't* know about it, supported by the sulky, hunched posture of the Leader of the Free World in the iconic photo of the Situation Room. He's not even sitting at the table, like the grown-ups. (And may Athena forgive me for referring to Biden as a grown-up...). He had to be dragged off the golf course (yes really) to watch the superb SEALs he is allegedly the commander of kick ass and blow shit up. Now that it is a success, of course, you'd think he was Team Leader on the ground to hear him talk about it.

It's to be hoped the brainer terrorists and their funders make the connection. Even when we have a total loser in the White House, the United States is still very, very dangerous. And we WILL find you.

Sunday Funnies

2011-05-01T05:11:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Schlock has to defer revenge.
-TwoLumps Epic quests can so happen behind the sofa.
-Girl Genius Gil needs a scapegoat, so Tarvek will live.
-No Need For Bushido Uso is lurking in the grass like the snake he is. My bet is Ina steps on him.
-Delta Bravo Sierra CSM on a rampage! Follow him!
-xkcd
-Amya Something sneaky is going on, and Felix is behind it.
- Banished Chief Tache is asking very pertinent questions.

Not Updated, fie!

-Commander Kitty
-Dresden Codak
-Lackadaisy
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ ~~March~~ April comic.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts is busy handing out used headgear.

Snarkatron Solves the Budget Problem

2011-04-27T09:40:00.000-07:00

The Congresscritters are quite busy earnestly assuring us that they HAVE to raise the debt limit because there is just no way to cut the budget enough. One star for finally realizing that raising taxes is, inexplicably, unpopular. We've still got a lot of debt from previous unbalanced budgets to pay off, but first things first. I have some carefully thought-out ideas that should fix everything.

1) Any rich celebrity/financier/whatever who states, without duress, in public, "They should raise my taxes," or any variant of the same, shall be immediately issued a tax due statement by the IRS for the value of 50% of all assets. Not income, assets. If the statement or variant is repeated the next fiscal year, the same tax bill shall be issued again until silence or bankruptcy results.

2) All previously instituted Federal taxes, fees, and payments of any kind that are used to fund the Federal budget will be rescinded. Instead, Congress shall pass a budget that has all their wish lists for funding for all the crucial institutions of Western Civilization, e.g. cowboy poetry competitions. The Congressional Budget Office shall then apportion to each citizen their share of the bill, using a formula that rates each individual's assets (including yearly income) as a percentage of all citizens of the country combined. Only citizens are allowed access to any Federal service, also green card holders and other legal immigrants will be assessed an estimated fee which must be paid to either enter or stay in the country.

There you go! Guaranteed no-deficit budgets! Now if you will excuse me, I need to sign up for a hot tar and pitchfork franchise. Once people truly understand how much money Congress is spending and it comes directly out of their pockets, I expect a return to the values that made this country great--enraged mobs.

Sunday Funnies

2011-04-24T04:31:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Follow the hacked cameras!
-TwoLumps Leonardo da Vinci is so getting sued by Marvel.
-Girl Genius Tarvek is developing a rudimentary sense of ethics.
-No Need For Bushido Yori is boxed in.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Chicks dig chicks. I mean peeps.
-xkcd
-Amya Faye would really rather wait for Accel.
-Commander Kitty Mr. Socks has been kidnapped!
- Banished Rak is very tired of being rescued by Mammazons.
-Dresden Codak Kim runs afoul of Science by Consensus.

Not Updated, fie!

-Lackadaisy
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ ~~March~~ April comic.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts is allergic to Spring.

I am a Shoe Hacker

2011-04-13T21:13:00.000-07:00

I have always been envious of the small children running around in their clever LED light-up stompy sneakers. In a cruel twist of fate, small-minded shoe manufacturers seem to think that people with big feet (NOTE: I did not say "grown up" people) do not also want clever LED light-up stompy sneakers.

Well. I didn't spend years of my life in a dark laboratory to be told "you can't do that", so I did. I now have my own clever LED light-up stompy sneakers. Below, my very first YouTube showing them in action -- PLUS! Instructions on how to do it your very own self!

1) Obtain children's shoes with desired light-up feature. I found some kid's shoes on clearance at K-mart for about $8. They don't have to be wonderful shoes, just with working LEDs.

2) tools for vivisecting small shoes with LEDs. Later you will want a drill of some kind.

3) disembowel small shoe, being careful NOT to cut the wires to the LEDs on the side of the shoe.

4) The actual device, shock activated, that powers the LEDs. The colored wires go to the LEDs. CAREFULLY pull the whole unit out and free the lights.

5) The controller and lights. This is all you need from the small shoes. Discard the rest or give to your local puppy to chew on.

6) Large shoe that fits me, and *also* does not have the concave heel surface like most running shoes now do (you need a thick, flat heel to accommodate the hole for the controller). Here the three lights are dangling out of the holes I (carefully) drilled in the sole to the square hole excavated in the heel of the shoe to hold the controller. Feeding the wires through was the most difficult part.

7) Another shot of the nearly assembled shoe. I had to put small pieces of hard plastic top and bottom of the controller, then put the shoe liner over them, to get the lights to activate properly. As you can see in the video, it doesn't always work perfectly. The sole is much more shock-absorbing in this shoe than in the original kid's shoe, which probably has something to do with it. Still, it works most of the time!

UPDATE: I forgot to mention sealing up the holes with the LEDs with clear caulk that you can find in any hardware store.

Sunday Funnies

2011-04-10T04:09:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Shep is missing, and a thug comes visiting.
-TwoLumps The dangers of junebugs.
-Girl Genius A pirate wants the Doom Bell rung.
-No Need For Bushido New comic Monday!
-Delta Bravo Sierra Drill gets a surprise.
-xkcd
-Amya The half-elves want to leave now.
-Commander Kitty Mouse's default setting is conference.
- Banished Rak does not want to go back home.

Not Updated, fie!

-Lackadaisy
-Dresden Codak
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ ~~March~~ April comic.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts would rather play Angry Birds or something.

How Things are Different Now

2011-04-07T14:39:00.000-07:00

Politics have changed. Used to be, if you were in the narrow section of the demographic pie in a given city/state jurisdiction, you were screwed. Didn't matter how hard you fought, how many signs in your yard, even how much money you donated. The numbers were simply against you. Living in the soggy corner of the map as I do, I know my Congresscritters, Inslee and Murray, do not give a tinker's damn about my opinion because they can get re-elected just fine without it. It doesn't help when the local Republicans pretty much press-gang a reluctant candidate that can't be bothered to really campaign, either.

So I get involved in *other* state elections. I don't have oodles of cash to donate, but I like my money to be put to good use. In other words, where it might have an actual effect. This is the cool thing about the current political environment -- using the magic of the internet I can find out about a candidate for state or federal office anywhere in the country (Alan West, for example) , and help THEM get elected. Once in Congress, a vote is a vote.

I suspect we will be seeing more of this. And why not? What members of Congress do affects everyone in the country, not just the constituents of their particular state. If my voice is diluted where I live, I can make it stronger by focusing somewhere else.

Snark Patrol goes to the Movies: Sucker Punch

2011-04-06T08:08:00.000-07:00

I went to see Sucker Punch armed with the knowledge that all I was expecting was explosions and cool special effects, and that the critics hated it. Usually that's all it takes for me to really enjoy a film. The special effects are indeed stunning, and I now know that to be truly effective in combat you need stylish footwear. The main character had an emotional range that consisted almost entirely of pouty suffering, but there were other, more worthy candidates for my attention so I didn't mind.

That said, it is a dark movie. Bad things happen to good people. I went to a matinee and it was definitely worth the money. Not wanting the hours of my life back. However, it could have been much better and I can see why some people hated it. I'm not sure they knew the real reason why they hated it, but as a writer I have a suspicion.

(Further analysis below the fold. I can't tell you why the movie failed without major spoilers. You have officially been Warned.)

Sacrifice for a good cause is noble, and the Ultimate Sacrifice can redeem the most slimy villain or coward. Death by itself, however is not sacrifice. The death has to be deliberately chosen *in order* to save the orphanage, the kitten, whatever, and saving them not possible in any other way.

The movie has not just one, but *two* fantasy layers, the bordello and the world of war. Events in the world of war have a definite and clear connection to the bordello world. You can see how some elements of the real world were used by Baby Doll to create the bordello world. However, events in the bordello world that are crucial to the plot, such as Baby Doll's sacrifice to save Amber, do NOT have a clear connection to the real world.

Baby Doll was going to get the lobotomy from the beginning, her evil stepfather had that already planned. She helped Amber escape in the real world *before* the lobotomy, the putative sacrifice, so the lobotomy wasn't key to the escape. Baby Doll was helpless in the real world to prevent her lobotomy so it isn't a true sacrifice. Distracting the bordello guests so Amber could escape, but getting captured herself, *was* a true sacrifice but we only see that in the bordello world. That's the big missing piece. It is true that the consequences of the forged lobotomy order brought down the venal orderly and exposed the corruption of the mental institution, but again, that had nothing to do with any action on Baby Doll's part. Other people acting ethically made that happen when the truth was revealed. As a writer, this is not playing true to the conventions of the plot and the main character. Main characters can die but they can't be mere mute witnesses--they have to act.

Sunday Funnies

2011-04-03T04:33:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Toxic waste dump, or attempted murder?
-TwoLumps Old jokes.
-Girl Genius Tarvek knows a lot about Lucrezia's machines.
-No Need For Bushido Uso gets to fly.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Lucky gets fooled.
-xkcd
-Amya Uh oh, Faye has been recognized.
NEW! to replace the hole left by Digger (see what I did there?) two new comics have been added to the list. First, a tale of cosmic feline adventure in Commander Kitty, and the heart-tugging saga of a grouchy alien and his naive, trusting robot friend, Banished.

Not Updated, fie!

-Lackadaisy
-Dresden Codak
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ ~~March~~ April comic.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts is busy soothing a savage beast.

I really mean it!

2011-04-01T14:08:00.000-07:00

Happy April Fools Day! No, I'm not going to tell you what it means. That would be cheating.

Sunday Funnies

2011-03-27T04:37:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Will the roboticist invent a dishwashing robot?
-TwoLumps Sore paws and stupid ants.
-Girl Genius Where else would you keep giant mechanical squid?
-Digger And so the saga of Digger comes to a close. All hail Ganesh, protector of travelers, remover of obstacles.
-No Need For Bushido Yori does a lot of dodging.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Don't press that button!
-xkcd
-Amya No really, it's just an innocent package that this group of armed people find it difficult to deliver. Hmmm.

Not Updated, fie!

-Lackadaisy
-Dresden Codak
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ March comic.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts can make a lethal weapon out of a weathervane. Just ask!

Science Review for the Terrified (or merely curious)

2011-03-16T20:06:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: for those who prefer pictures, xkcd has a very nice illustration (ht/ Instapundit)

What with all the sirens going off around the Japanese reactors (who merely got jostled a tad by a 9.0 earthquake AND a tsunami), the meeja has been reaching new depths of science ignorance and frantically passing it on to anyone who will listen. I thought it might be time for them to review a few basic concepts. Yes, this will be on the test. The test called LIFE.

1) There is No Such Thing as Completely Safe. I know, you want your binky and your teddy bear and a non-gender-specific parent to soothe you with promises that nothing bad can hurt you. The Universe can hurt you when it puts its mind to it, real bad, and there's not much you can do about it. The good news is these extreme events rarely happen. When they do, certain thumbsuckers ignore facts such as a) nobody has been killed by the reactor accident (yet), even though b) it is a very serious accident and c) the earthquake plus tsunami FAR exceeded the design parameters. Of a 40 year old reactor design. Under the circumstances, I'd say they did pretty well.

A) What Kind of Radiation?
This is all radiation.

Radiation is electromagnetic energy in the form of waves. (We're staying non-relativistic here.) I don't want to alarm the meeja (oh hell, yes I do!) but all humans who are alive emit radiation. Infrared, or heat. What the frothers probably mean when they wail about "radiation" is ionizing radiation (some UV, x-rays, and gamma rays) which is energetic enough to ionize (remove an electron), hence the name. The other kind of "radiation" is radioactive material which emits particles. Depending on what type, you can shield yourself with a piece of paper, lead foil, or massive amounts of concrete. Sorry, there is no known method to shield against cosmic rays (actually particles and highly energetic ones at that) (see #1 above). Radioactive material danger is complex to assess and depends on things like particle type, energy of said particle, dose, time over which a dose is spread, exposed organs, and even some natural variation of the organism. In short, I don't believe any meeja talking head is capable of correctly assessing the danger of a leak from a nuclear power plant. They have a hard time understanding what they are told by experts, or even transmitting it correctly. I would not believe any risk assessments that did not come directly from an individual trained in radioactive material safety. And I certainly would not credit radioactive risks hyped by someone who smokes.

III) Nuclear Thingamajigs:
This was my favorite sign at Berkeley. "Nuclear-free zone". It made me giggle. I didn't have the heart to tell them that their organic free-range dolphin-safe grapes contained nuclei. So did the bottled water, the hemp socks, the air, and, well, everything. Every atom has a nucleus. The vast majority of the time, it just sits there and doesn't bother anyone. There are two ways for a nucleus to abandon its mild-mannered ways -- fusion, and fission. Fusion is the process which gets us that glowing ball in the sky known as the Sun. If you smoosh two atoms together to the point where their nuclei fuse, lots and lots of energy is released. I believe most hippies consider sunlight natural and good even though it involves nuclei. Go figure. And yes, even a fusion plant, should we build one, will generate radioactive waste (just not as much, and with a much shorter half-life). Yes, that means the Sun is radioactive. Don't tell the Gaia-worshipers.

Fission is the process where a nuclei is split, and lots and lots of energy is released. Most hippies are violently anti-fission, even though it involves nuclei. All reactor plants so far are fission (we're working on fusion Really Hard Now, and have been since I was a baby physicist). There are some very good explanations of how fission reactors (and the particular design used in the Japanese plants) work. The big point the talking heads are missing is that fission can be completely stopped, and yet natural radioactive decay of the fuel can generate a metric shitload (official term) of heat. Heat that can start fires, build up explosive levels of radioactive steam, etc. Not good, and I would not recommend licking any of the fuel rods either, but nowhere near a mushroom cloud or the "glowing ball of molten plutonium heading for the center of the Earth" hysteria.

A very small chance of survival...

2011-03-14T20:22:00.000-07:00

but sometimes, that's enough. Three days after being swept away in the tsunami, this little four-month old girl was found in the wreckage. Her parents survived as well.

Joy: The member of Japan's Self-Defence Force member holds the four-month-old baby girl in Ishinomaki, northern Japan after her rescue

Sunday Funnies

2011-03-13T08:47:00.000-07:00

Stupid Daylight Savings Time Edition!

-Schlock Mercenary The mercenaries are not being proper.
-TwoLumps Pushing the button.
-Girl Genius The Jaegers report in.
-Digger Digger may be able to persuade the trolls.
-No Need For Bushido New comic Monday!
-Delta Bravo Sierra The CSMs have a history.
-xkcd
-Amya Come have some lunch at the armed camp.

Not Updated, fie!

-Lackadaisy
-Dresden Codak
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ March comic.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts is digging holes and loving it.

Time to Snark Again

2011-03-10T15:30:00.000-08:00

-Well. After all of the shrieking and protesting and sign-waving, the Wisconsin Legislature has passed the bill limiting collective bargaining rights from public employees. About time, I say. Gov. Walker has much more tolerance for frothing moonbats than I do, which is why he is a successful politician and I am not. He seems to have given the lunatic opposition just enough rope, but not enough to hinder *him*. And he got what he always said he wanted. I wonder if the protesters will notice when the earth continues to rotate, schools still function, and lattes can still be purchased?

-Whenever blogviews get low or the ornry feeling descends I suspect some people (*coughGlenncough*) put up a recurring post with a theme that Women(collectively) are wussifying Men(collectively). E.g. this PJ article . I have no doubt the anecdotes can be supported by further anecdotes, but I must be living on a different planet because I haven't seen much of this. In my teaching career, I saw plenty of ditzy women and engaged and enthusiastic men, and vice versa. Yeah, anecdotes: but if I have to accept theirs they have to accept mine. Maybe it made a difference I was teaching science? I still don't think things are that bad. My opinion (I have lots, collect the set!) is that we are seeing a grand recalibration of humanity that has nothing to do with the inherent propensities of men and women. I, Snarkatron, whilst the proud possessor of TWO X chromosomes, think women can be as equally lazy and pathetic as men. It's just now our culture doesn't hound and persecute lazy men any more, so we see more of them. They haven't changed! The good news is honest hardworking men have always existed and continue to do so, and now honest hardworking women have the opportunity to work. Used to be women had no choice but to be kept. Used to be that men had to work to support themselves and no woman would pay attention to a man who couldn't provide for her, so even the lazy men (if they wanted female attention) worked.

It's sad, but some people don't mind being kept. Apparently there are now women who think so little of themselves, or that they must have a man as an accessory like a handbag, so they are willing to keep company with lazy men. Their problem, not mine. I do wish the "All Women/Men Are Teh EEEEBIL!" people would find a fulfilling hobby. Both sides bore me.

-I don't know why people write "We're all DOOOMED!" posts, and then have no suggestions about what to do about the, you know, being doomed part. Well I do, it feels good to wail to the heavens. But that lasts about 15 minutes and you have to get back to things like food for *now*. Agreed the economy sucks and all the people in the current Administration struggle to color inside the lines and entitlement spending is expanding like a shock wave from a supernova -- what can we do to make our post-apocalyptic lives, brief as they might be, more comfortable? What are the warning signs that I should go drain my bank account and buy barter goods? Actually, a useful guide to how things went down in Argentina and what to watch for is Ferfal's Surviving in Argentina. Lots of real, *tested* advice instead of survivalist pr0n.

Sunday Funnies

2011-03-06T06:14:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary Dr. Bunnigus has a fake memory of diagnosis.
-TwoLumps Snooch's plan has monkeys.
-Girl Genius Yes, Othar really is a hero.
-Digger Digger is astonished to see a certain wagon.
-No Need For Bushido Cho can handle it.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Snakes and farts.
-xkcd
-Amya Pretty poster!
-Lackadaisy Mitzi wants her pearl back.

Not Updated, fie!

-Dresden Codak License for Science denied.
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ March comic.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts is plotting further destruction.

COMIX RELATED!
Your humble Snarkatron attended the Emerald City Comicon, in Seattle. Along, apparently, with half the city. And, EEEEE! I got to meet Alex and Joseph, the warped brains behind No Need For Bushido, buy their first book, and get a cool sketch in it. They are very funny and look completely normal. Also Savannah of Amaya. Ursula Vernon of Digger was *not* there, but her publisher was and I bought stuff. Verily, the comix economy was stimulated.

Sunday Funnies

2011-02-27T05:09:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary Schlock obeys the "Drink Me" label.
-TwoLumps Gladiator kitties.
-Girl Genius Zola and Anevka plot in the hospital.
-Digger Ganesh guides the traveler and removes obstacles.
-No Need For Bushido New comic Monday!
-Delta Bravo Sierra What Top thinks of Columbia.
-xkcd
-Amya Have some lunch.
-Dresden Codak License for Science denied.

Not Updated, fie!

-Lackadaisy Not a real update, but some amusing short sketches added.
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ ~~February~~ March comic.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts leads puppies astray.

Mad City

2011-02-25T11:16:00.000-08:00

During my wandering ronin-scientist period I spent a year and a half in Madison, WI. Due to a series of unfortunate events, that time period encompassed two winters and I still have nightmares about that. Nothing cheers me more than having to scrape my car windows twice a day. The above is one of my favorite postcards from that town, and it fits.

Most Madisonians are pretty laid-back and while not effusive in friendship (would violate the Scandihoovian code or something) are quietly generous. There are a few odd ducks that feel by congregating in Madison it makes it, and them, "cool" and hip and things. Cold, definitely. The University has a nice terrace for drinking beer on during the month of summer, but beyond that it provides a nice view of the yearly ice sculpture contest on the lake. The frozen lake.

They want to be seen as the Berkely of the midwest, but I have sad news for them. I've lived in Berkeley too. Being able to buy tie-dye t-shirts doesn't make you Berkeley. A handful of head shops doesn't make you Berkeley. Maybe they don't understand what they need to add to reach that rarified level. I think even the rampaging leftists might be a bit taken aback by what *I* saw in Berkeley. Like a savage beatdown of one homeless person against another in, wait for it, the Peace Park. At least they weren't using nuclear weapons (forbidden by city ordinance ...). The guy who wore an amazing turban consisting entirely of hundreds and hundreds of panties. The Hitler clone (who seriously skeeved me out). The decay and the poverty and the dirt. There were some good things too, but usually they were leftovers from a prosperous, non-hippy time. The town was puzzled why people with money didn't want to come in and spend it in their grubby shops, stepping over smelly "counterculture" adherents to do so. And strangely, communist-manques don't spend a lot of money! Capitalists don't care to support causes dedicated to destroying them and everything they stand for!

I'm not surprised there are rampaging hordes of whiny leftists wailing to the heavens in Madison right now. Those mean conservatives are trying to destroy their dream of destroying Wisconsin. And making Madison truly into Berkeley.

Radiation and the Standard Banana

2011-02-17T15:53:00.000-08:00

Watt's Up With That, home of the global warming resistance, had a highly interesting post up about how to explain radiation to non-specialists using the concept of the Standard Banana. The Banana Equivalent Dose, or BED, is the amount of radiation equivalent to exposure to one ordinary banana - "roughly 520 picocuries per 150g banana". No, this is not due to some radiation exposure by evil banana barons, this is perfectly natural and a consequence of all that potassium they contain. Radiation is, actually, natural. Cosmic rays zip through you every day, even if you eat organic, free-range vegetables and vote Democrat.

I had to undergo radiation safety training as a consequence of my work for several years, every year, and wore a film badge to measure radiation exposure. The government concept of ALARA, As Low As Reasonably Achievable, was developed in the very early days of radioactive science when they really didn't know that much, except that too much would kill you. Later they noticed a trend in cancer vs. radiation exposure. BUT! The way they looked at it, you had only so much radiation exposure, of any kind, and once you hit the red line of cumulative dose it was Cancer City. However actual experiments about low dose radiation seems to indicate there is a baseline below which no damage occurs, even cumulative. (To be more precise, damage that does occur is easily and completely repaired.)

The topic of radiation damage in the human body is fascinating, and still not completely understood. Exposure from exterior sources vs. ingestion, type of particle emitted, and even organ exposed all make a difference in calculating damage and the chance of three-headed children. Also, individual response can vary widely. For example, some people appear to be able to flush radioactive material from their bodies before it has time to do much damage. The celebrated case of Radithor, a patent medicine made with radium in the 1930s, is an example. When one patient died, rather horribly, from the effects of radiation damage, the doctor who had prescribed it testified in his defense that he had taken just as much of the medicine himself and was still healthy so the medicine could not be the cause of death. The patient in question had taken large amounts (three bottles!) of Radithor every day, possibly because one of the side effects immediately after a large, damaging dose of radiation is a feeling of increased energy. Since one of the *longer-term* side effects is usually death, most people doing the risk-benefit analysis would opt out.

(For those of you playing at home, the Snarkatronic Computational Array estimates that one bottle of Radithor had a Banana Equivalent Dose of nearly 2 million bananas. Don't say you weren't warned.)

The Military-Industrial Complex and My Bathroom

2011-02-15T17:20:00.000-08:00

I am inspired by the loo-blogging of Sweasel to expound on matters ablutional. When I bought my house the one major downside was the upstairs bathroom. For reasons I could not fathom the tub, toilet AND sink were all this bland, flesh-toned pink that was unpleasant to my eye, especially in the early morning. Why, I asked myself, would anyone go to the extra bother and expense of having bathroom fixtures that were, to be blunt, pretty much the same color as the user?

I found the answer: Mamie Eisenhower. She unleashed a veritable plethora of pink bathrooms in the 50's. I escaped lightly; it could have been the pepto-bismal pink shade, or extended to the tile. (Mamie had pink *cotton balls* in her bathroom.)

Don't let the Save the Pink Bathroom people know, but I am going to considerable expense to rip this monstrosity apart. If anyone wants a pink toilet for nefarious purposes, let me know (you pick up). Preference will be given to plans involving explosives.

Sunday Funnies

2011-02-13T04:57:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary Schlock has a killer contract clause.
-TwoLumps The Sith have the power to make you gag.
-Girl Genius Tarvek is very good at chain-yanking.
-Digger The tunnel stayed open.
-No Need For Bushido New comic Monday!
-Delta Bravo Sierra Top is in the room.
-xkcd
-Amya Not the ones they were looking for.

Not Updated, fie!

-Dresden Codak
-Lackadaisy
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ February comic.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts makes guardian angels cry.

Sunday Funnies

2011-02-06T04:59:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary The rescue team has lost all its luggage.
-TwoLumps Simulating spring with a heat vent.
-Girl Genius Dr. Sun converses with his new patient on the nature and extent of freedom.
-Digger Digger worries about destiny.
-No Need For Bushido Lord Maru fights dirty.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Colonel Blue Falcon is on the loose.
-xkcd
-Amya Pesky archers in the trees and other signs of spring.
-Lackadaisy Mitzi wants to put it all back together.
-Dresden Codak Kim's backpack is tested.

Not Updated, fie!

-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ February comic.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts wishes the kids of today wouldn't mumble so much.

Sunday Funnies

2011-01-30T08:10:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary Schlock ate the prisoners.
-TwoLumps Angry birds vs cats.
-Girl Genius Airman Higgs does seem rather ...familiar with the Castle.
-Digger Murai will keep an eye on Jhalm.
-No Need For Bushido New comic Monday!
-Delta Bravo Sierra The CSM also prefers munching to taking prisoners.
-xkcd

Not Updated, fie!

-Amya It's spring cleaning at the site, so a brief hiatus until Wednesday.
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December January~~ February comic.
-Lackadaisy
-My Ninja Family
-Dresden Codak
-Argghhh-onauts is looking for somewhere to cause more trouble.

Sunday Funnies

2011-01-23T07:11:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary Dr. Bunnigus doesn't like strip searches.
-TwoLumps Baby demolition derbies.
-Girl Genius Tarvek wants Zola dead.
-Digger Digger reduced a major psychic nuisance.
-No Need For Bushido Gen. Atsumori's surviving guard would like to help, but is busy.
-Delta Bravo Sierra Dreaming of stomping.
-xkcd

Not Updated, fie!

-Amya It's spring cleaning at the site, so a brief hiatus.
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December~~ January comic.
-Lackadaisy
-My Ninja Family
-Dresden Codak
-Argghhh-onauts had the best wild ride ever.

The horror...the horror

2011-01-21T19:21:00.000-08:00

Made a few changes around the sidebar, just in case you were wondering. The Global Warming widget is quite clever and keeps track of all kinds of useful solar data, and I think we're done with the 2010 election so I removed those links. I also removed a certain war correspondent's link for what I consider to be egregious offenses against adult behavior AND Blackfive's Uncle Jimbo (Note for people who have $variable-Studies degrees, that means two completely different and possibly non-intersecting categories.) Not that said correspondent will notice or care, but when you repeatedly insult people I like and act like a jerk I will delete your link. Fair warning to everyone.

Not that I agree with Uncle Jimbo about women in combat, and I'm sure he cares as much as the recently-unlinked correspondent. I think, however, that I have uncovered the reason why he feels so strongly on the subject.

WARNING! Not safe for work. Not safe for ANYTHING with a central nervous system. I'm warning you.

You're going to click the link anyway, aren't you. Sigh. They never listen ...

Think Uncle Jimbo has a pen name in that list? And sheesh, guys, the Mammoth book? Will you stop fixating on size?

Stuxnet gets political

2011-01-20T07:56:00.000-08:00

Guess what? Stuxnet is now teh stoopid. Why, you may well ask? Because George W. Bush was involved. No, really. Look at the dates on these stories. Until Bush was directly connected by the New York Times, everybody in the computer security world was saying how clever Stuxnet was. This is how insidious Bush is, he can go back in time and make a computer virus stupid. With his mind. I swear, it's like his name is a killing word. (Can I say that any more?)

I wonder what R. Lee Ermey would have to say....

Definitions

2011-01-19T07:42:00.000-08:00

Violent Rhetoric --Words that imply a situation that could end in tears and/or hurt feelings, or have an origin or connotation that implies band-aids and boo-boos. E.g. campaign (military), tactics (military), take aim (guns), target (guns), push, shove, point, etc. Alt: Anything Sarah Palin says, including "and" and "the". NOTE: only conservatives are held to this standard. For example "make a necklace out of their ears" is just a normal liberal expression of frustration and nobody should feel the least bit threatened by it, even the people named as having a central role in said ear necklace.

Interjecting Yourself Into the Conversation -- Daring to contradict slurs and accusations, especially if conservatives defend themselves against liberals.

Extremist -- All conservatives and some paranoid schizophrenics. Alt: anyone who disagrees with a liberal (SEE: racist)

Vicious Animal -- One that defends itself against attack, especially if it is successful.

You know, with all the pundits punditing non-stop about this "climate of hate" I have yet to hear one of them suggest that the liberals lead by example and stop gratuitously insulting people whose only real crime is disagreeing with them. For extra credit, they can apologize for all the nastiness they spewed for the last ten years about Bush. I mean really, he dynamited the levees to destroy New Orleans? That's calm rhetoric?

Sunday Funnies

2011-01-16T04:16:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary Why Schlock can't take his gun.
-TwoLumps Sometimes shuffle play is a bad idea.
-Girl Genius Zola has stabby hair ornaments.
-Digger Bone Claw Mother plots a covert memorial for Ed.
-No Need For Bushido New Comic Monday!
-Delta Bravo Sierra You can't win the hearts and minds of people you eat.
-Amya Pretty travel pictures.
-xkcd

Not Updated, fie!

-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December~~ January comic.
-Lackadaisy
-My Ninja Family
-Dresden Codak
-Argghhh-onauts has lost his luggage.

A Time for Snarking

2011-01-12T09:21:00.000-08:00

As the terrible details about the deranged Arizona shooter trickle out, one begins to wonder if brain rot is contagious in certain susceptible populations, such as liberal politicians and pundits. Maybe Loughner was on to something about mind-control grammar, and his word-salad spewings tripped a switch in softer brains. E.g, the sheriff who admits they don't know what made the gunman shoot Giffords, BUT he's sure Palin has something to do with it. Nifty and evidence-free! If this guy starts claiming he's Napoleon would anyone be surprised?

Next in the copy-cat madness brigade is one Representative Peter King, who has the bright idea of forbidding those nasty guns from being 1,000 feet or closer to government officials. Now, there are a few wrinkles in enforcement or even obedience to this proposed law, namely as long as government officials have their human disguises on they look exactly like everyone else. How to tell who needs the 1,000' radius? I suggest Snarkatron's Amendment to this legislation: That all government officials wear identifying marks -- say, a large circle of concentric red and white rings-- on both front and back so they will be known as someone you should not shoot. Possibly even on either side of the official, if they are of a large disposition. Oh, and a helmet with a flashing light. This would have the added benefit of allowing decent people to avoid them and protecting the innocent minds of children who might otherwise grow up thinking a career in government would be appropriate.

I'm not saying that's the only way to solve the problem. We could also institute Government Reservations, where all government officials must live and work, complete with barbed wire and guard towers. It would be easy to keep weapons the proper distance if all the "protected individuals" were isolated to a few easily-avoided locations. I mean, we have no *evidence* that there is a connection to government service and paranoid schizophrenia, but I "feel sure" if we look hard enough we'll find one!

Sunday Funnies

2011-01-09T05:18:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary Someone is building a ketchup gun. This will not end well.
-TwoLumps Mom's purse is waterproof.
-Girl Genius The Castle doesn't want Agatha choked.
-Digger Digger doesn't think much of fate.
-No Need For Bushido General Atsumori recovers from a rattling fall from a horse much better than I did, in his situation. Granted, nobody was coming after me with a sword.
-Delta Bravo Sierra The CSM does not care what "team" you are on.
-Amya Kaden has different notions of speedy travel.
-xkcd

Not Updated, fie!

-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the ~~December~~ January comic.
-Lackadaisy But do admire the alternate Christmas comic. Stupid recipe!
-My Ninja Family
-Dresden Codak
-Argghhh-onauts does not comprehend sparkly lights that are not tracers.

COMIX RELATED!!!

Click the pretty button, Max! Yes, Minions and Fellow Mad Scientists, there is a new (non comic) book out. Of course I ordered mine already. And since I live in the same metropolitan area as the Foglios, [obnoxious brag] I will attend the signing party. [ /obnoxious brag]

The Hardest Part of Sniper School

2011-01-06T08:58:00.000-08:00

Hiding from a class of kindergarteners. Partial credit for extricating yourself without promising candy.

see more Very Demotivational

Julia Child, Scientist

2010-12-27T12:05:00.000-08:00

Back when I was just a baby physicist, I was privileged to see a wonderful science film clip. Yes, you whippersnappers, a FILM CLIP. It was in a flat circular tin and you had to feed the FILM into a DEVICE that let you see it on a SCREEN. Not a video. Not YouTube. We *suffered* in those days. Don't even ask about text messaging.

I now present to you ...

Julia Child makes Primordial Soup!

Sunday Funnies

2010-12-26T04:46:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary Something is odd with Shep.
-TwoLumps Christmas is the time when relatives conspire to irritate you.
-Girl Genius Time to throw the switch!
-Digger Bone Claw Mother strongly suggests Digger talk about it.
-No Need For Bushido Lord Maru rearms, Gen. Atsumori gets a headache.
-Delta Bravo Sierra You are GO! for Christmas, soldier!
-Amya Faye finally gets some first aid for her burn.
-xkcd
-Lackadaisy Just as a note, if you are going to forge someone's signature you might want to know what it looks like first.

Not Updated, fie!

-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the December comic.
-My Ninja Family
-Dresden Codak
-Argghhh-onauts does not comprehend sparkly lights that are not tracers.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T04:54:00.000-08:00

May you receive the unexpected gift that was exactly what you didn't know you needed.

Diversity in Action

2010-12-20T07:46:00.000-08:00

Maybe I was wrong about the constant dinning noise of multi-culti diversity lecturing. I had thought that it would merely harden existing prejudices and only encourage the fluffy-brained tree huggers that abound in this area to think that anybody listens to them. But the pictures don't lie. Poor Vladimir Illyich Lenin, exiled to the gulag of Fruitloopistan aka Fremont, has abandoned his "religion is the opiate of the people" ways after constant nagging. Not only is he wearing a tasteful "Merry Christmas" garland for a necklace, he has a blue lighted Star of David halo! It is quite pretty in the evening.

Sunday Funnies

2010-12-19T05:47:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary Watch the super-genius put both feet in his mouth.
-TwoLumps Exploring alternate holidays.
-Girl Genius The floor has structural problems.
-Digger Digger finally gets some sleep.
-No Need For Bushido New comic Monday!
-Delta Bravo Sierra We want you to use this smartphone.
-Amya Kaden needs to work on his light chitchat.
-xkcd
-Dresden Codak Various guest comics, while the author relocates to New York.

Not Updated, fie!

-Lackadaisy
-Gone with the Blastwave Waiting patiently for the December comic.
-My Ninja Family
-Argghhh-onauts wants a rail gun for Christmas.